I told a girl I didn't want to go out with her...
At uni, a girl who I had the misfortune of being drunk with and pulling, big mistake, asked me out in the kebab shop later that evening. I told her no. She asked again. I told her no. This went on for a while until I eventually caved, thinking, "well it's about to be the Easter holidays, I'll dump her without ever having seen her."

This was all well and good, and I got on the train the next morning home. A week of her texting, and me replying sporadically and ignoring her phone calls, I was thinking I was doing an ace job of putting her off me.

One evening, I did happen to answer her call, the conversation went something like this:
Her “What are you up to?"
Me “nothing much, working tonight, got tomorrow off, working the day after."
Her “That’s good; I've booked a train to see you tomorrow!"
Me"..."
Her ”hello?"
me"...Err, that sounds... nice..."
Hang up.
Me "Fuckbeans..."

The next day, she arrived, and I showed her round my home city (Oxford), doing my best to not give off 'I fancy you' vibes. These consisted of:
Not touching her
Answering her very abruptly
Buying a drink and not offering her one
This list is by no means exhaustive!

Anyway, come the evening, I take her to my place of work, in the hope that if we were surrounded by friends, then she wouldn't be able to get her lady claws into me. This worked, and I eventually had to take her to her train.

"Yay!" I think, "I have finally gotten rid of her"

Until I get a phone call ten minutes later, "The train you put me on is delayed, and I have to come back, which will be too late for the last train. Can I stay at yours?"

Of course, being a gent, I say this is fine, I don't want to leave a girl stranded in an unfamiliar city, no matter how little I want to go out with her. So I go and pick her up, and take her back to my house, where a couple of friends are waiting to laugh at me. The plan was to get her drunk so she passed out, and I didn't have to talk to her anymore. The plan worked a charm, and the next day I carted her off to the train station and got her on the correct train.

A few texts about how she enjoyed herself later, and I feel pretty pissed off, she should have hated it!

Then, one night I get a text.

Her “this isn't really working as well as it used to, is it?"
Me “not really, although, I never really thought it was working"
Her “well you could have said something earlier; anyway, it means I can make it official with someone here at home."

I left it at that. But it did make me feel slightly aggrieved, that while I was doing my best chauvinist pig routine, to get myself dumped, she was cheating on me!

The Bitch!

Length? About two weeks, sadly, at the time my longest ever relationship, even though I spent the whole time trying to get dumped...
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 5 Jun 2008, 11:09, 4 replies)

Awesome
getting annoyed at being dumped by someone you didn't want to go out with!
( Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 11:15, closed)

Sucks, doesn't it?!
I wanted to split up, not get cheated on. Heartless wench!
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 5 Jun 2008, 12:08, closed)

Ace
I've been in similar situations, but never to that extent. I salute you, sir!
(slotbadger, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:57, closed)

Brilliant!
I've had the same - hating a girl who fancies you until she finally gets with someone else. Then suddenly you feel jealous.

Ah, emotions... have a click
(Adamish Time of death, Sun 8 Jun 2008, 23:24, closed)