What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."
Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?
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chthonic, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
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NutterI was dating a young lass, looked good, was good to spend time with when she was sober etc.
It just deteriorated every time we when out on the lash, she would drunkenly wiggle like an epileptic spastic in front of me while droning something like "dOoo yoooo liike mY lapdarrrnse? DoOo yooo fink its teh seXay?"
It got to the point where I couldn't even drink enough to drown out the annoyance and the frankly disturbing prospect of taking her home for sub-par sex scarily uncannily like cheap pornos (The usual shouts of "cum on my tits" while biting her lip in an un-seductive manner and "lets see if my entire fist can fit inside me as I reckon it will turn you right on").
We were in a bar with a group of her mates and I was happily sitting there daydreaming while knocking back a few bevvies. She looks over at me and says "You ok?"
I answer "yes, I'm fine, a little tired, but fine"
To which she responds by shouting at me, then asking her mate if it was ok for her to crash at hers while she arranged a taxi to take me home (WTF? never said anything about going home at the time).
I saw this as an ideal time to escape my sadness, and tell her that "I didn't want to go home, but obviously you wanted me to".
She then stormed off with all her mates bar her best mate outside for a smoke. Her best mate then looks at me blankly, and gets up and walks off to the toilet.
As i'm now on my own, I make a break for it, I get up and walk to her house (my car was there), at least 6 miles, in the torrential rain.
It was the best 2 and a half hours of bliss, didn't bother contacting her until the afternoon of the next day, only to be shouted at and dumped on the phone. Bonus!
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 11:28, 6 replies)
Oh dearWhat the hell is with the lip biting thing anyway?
Almost as bad as the lip licking thing - once had a bloke who just grunted. oh yeah, oh yeah Ooooooh yeah baby! at me all the way through - deeply offputting and I never went back there again!!!
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 11:52, closed)
Wait...YOu mean that acting like you're in a porn film is not what girls like???????
DAMMIT!
Time to put away my handlebar mustache and my fridge/photocopying/air conditioning repair kit...
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 11:58, closed)
FK...Not here, no - that also means I don't want to gag during a nosh, neither do I want a 'protein face pack' while you so kindly hold my hair out of the way... ;)
Ha ha American porn is so nasty!!!
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 12:07, closed)
Well...Can I speak in a Faux German Accent?
And also really bad lines:
Is it hot in here? Or just you?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 12:08, closed)
HiHi Ancrenne, it is a pleasure to be bestowed with your presence once again!
I have no clue how she thought the lip biting thing was a turn on, I don't find gurning old men attractive, so why would an impersonation of one do it for me?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 14:12, closed)
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