The first time I spun my car….
In front of a 1 copper and 200 Chavs!!

This happened about 5 years ago. I was 18 and hadn’t been driving that long, it was my first real encounter with the police.

I am very ashamed to tell this story but it’s true so I will…


Late one Sunday night whilst driving through my old home town of Milton Keynes I was hailed down by pair of Chavs in a 205 GTI sitting, hazards blinking, in a bus stop. I wouldn’t normally pull over for Chavs in distress but being a fellow 205 GTI driver I felt a certain, “drivers camaraderie” with these Burberry wearing youngsters so I though I would give them the benefit of the doubt an see if I could lend a hand.

It turned out they where not broken down at all and were actually lost looking for the local Sunday night cruse (sitting in car parks eating McDonalds, comparing stereo systems and under body lighting is apparently a popular pastime in Milton Keynes). I was feeling quite charitable and also a little competitive so I offered to show these guys the way… if they could keep up. 10 roundabouts and some shoddy teenage attempted drifting later we arrived in the city centre not fair from the cruise “venue”.

It started to rain. I remember thinking to myself I better be a bit careful as the police are pretty notorious for pulling people over on Sundays. Driving through the centre we get to a mini-roundabout at the bottom of a hill, the rain was properly belting down now so I took the roundabout nice and slow… or so I thought!

About midway through the turn the backend totally derailed and I had the whole car sideways, being young and inexperienced I had no idea how to correct so I just hit the brakes, I managed a complete 360 and now sat with the arse end of my car up on the roundabout.

Looking out of my window I see 3 things:

To the left: The Burberry wearing Chavs I had previously been racing passing me very very slowing pissing themselves laughing (they even did two laps around the roundabout… bastards).

In front: Sitting in a lay-by facing me, a white unmarked Vauxhall Omega that had just become illuminated with flashing blue lights.

To the right: An entire car park full of about 200 Chavs and their respective “tuned” up wagons all turned to stare and laugh at the spoon who had just spun his car.

Oh the shame… it’s gets worse though. Now I have set the scene it’s time for my experience with the policeman. Bear in mind I had never dealt with these cunts before so I didn’t know what to expect. The officer steps out of his car and strolls towards me.

Officer: “Please move your vehicle down here next to mine sir!”

I obeyed and painfully scrapped my car off the roundabout the parked up in the lay-by trying to ignore the laughs and cheers from the car park crowd.

Officer: “So what happened there then?”

Me: “Well I…”

Officer: (shouting) “YOU WHERE GOING TOO FAST WERNT YOU!!!!!!”

Me: “But… the wet… slippery roundabout… cheap tyres….”

Officer: (still shouting) “Do I look stupid to you! That was DANGOUROUS DRIVING!”

The conversation… well should I say condescension continued for a whilst he checked every inch of my car, tyres, tax, flashlight in the boot, under the seats, the works.

He ordered me over and told me so sit in the passenger seat of his car, he sat in the driver’s seat and pressed a few buttons on the centre console, out folded a mini-tv from the top of the dash. He played with the controls for a while longer and a frozen image my car, mid spin appeared on the screen. I couldn’t believe it… not content with giving me a thorough telling off in front a crowd he now made me watch… in perfect clarity I might add… the stupid expression on my face, frame by frame as I lost control and spun. He even zoomed right in!

The wired thing was despite being scared of a dangerous driving conviction and points on my (then clean) licence I was actually starting to find the whole thing quite amusing. I am not sure if it was jus the shock\embracement of the situation but at this point I think I actually grew some bollocks and asked the copper if he has my speed registered. He said he didn’t. I then asked (with a shaky voice) if he had any evidence that I was going too fast and it wasn’t just a slippery road.

“Go!” He said

“What?!” I asked

Copper: “Go…. Leave! If I see you around here again I will be behind you, and I will catch you speeding…. And I will arrest you… now go and stop wasting my time!”

And that was it… I drove off… my first experience with the police.
(Minty Hit, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:18, Reply)