The PoliceSitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
(
chthonic, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
« Go Back
M5 on the M25Not one that I can take credit for, but an incident my brother got involved in last Christmas.
Staying at his girlfriends parent’s house over Christmas, they had booked into one of these activity centers in Sussex for the day. So at 5am he found himself on an empty M25, in a shiny new BMW M5 that belonged to her Dad. As you do, as soon as he pulled onto the slip road onto the M25 he decided to floor it and see how the car handled. “30… 60… 90… 120… 150… Was that a police car on the bridge??? Bugger!”
Sure enough, a traffic car on the overpass lit up like a Christmas tree and came screaming onto the motorway. With a good head start, my brother did the manly thing. He slowed down and tried to hide in a row of cars trundling along at 65mph. Within a minute the police car went screaming by them. However, they soon realized what had happened and moved back out into the fast lane and started drifting back along the line of cars until they found him.
Pulling over, he didn’t even give the police the chance to walk up to the car and instead go out and walked back to the police car.
“Do you know why we’ve stopped you?”
“Eh, I may have been going a wee bit too fast officer”
“Do you know how fast you were going?”
The dreaded question, do you admit guilt and see if you get off with it, or do you lie through your teeth.
“I don’t honestly know, I looked down and saw I was doing over 100 and got a fright” was his reply…but then came a stroke of genius
“In Jersey there’s not a big enough road to even come close to that kind of speed. I didn’t realize how quickly it happened in this car”
At that point he said you could see the smile wiped off the two cop’s faces.
“Jersey? Do you live there?”
There then followed a discussion about the jurisdiction of UK officers and the fact that there was feck all they could do about endorsing his license. The only other option was to charge him with dangerous driving (which wouldn’t really stand up in court, it being a deserted Motorway at that time in the morning).
After getting back to the car and explaining what happened to his slightly pissed off girlfriend, she then turned round and said…
“I thought you still had your UK driving license!”
“They never asked about my license, only where I lived.” was his answer.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 15:57, Reply)
« Go Back