The PoliceSitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
(
chthonic, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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Nice policeman, stupid mateSo Glastonbury festival 2004, Sunday sitting chilling in the glade tent, all a bit come-downy, cept our mate who still had half the drugs of the entire festival floating round his system, pills, speed, K, mushroom, you get the picture he was a little worse for way.
Any-way, two coppers come into the tent, start going round talking to everyone, we get a bit nervous, but they seem nice festivally-type bobbies so not to worried. They approach:
Police: Hi, not to worry, nobody is in trouble, we're just going round warning people that two girls have collapsed in the glade, we can't wake them so we don't know what they've taken, so we're just warning people to be careful if buying pills as there might be a dodgy batch going round.
F**ked mate (with fear of god in his eyes): I didn't kill anyone officer!!
Police (highly amused): No we're not saying… look we're just saying to be careful if you buy drugs, stay in pairs.
FM: We don't have any drugs!!! we took them all.
Me, with head in hands: We'll be careful officer.
Policeman: (patting FM on back in an affectionate way, while his partner is doubled up laughing) Look after your mate eh.
we will. Who says all coppers are tw@ts, sketchy mates on the other hand…
(, Fri 23 Sep 2005, 9:56, Reply)
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