The PoliceSitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
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chthonic, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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Speaking of utter cuntsMy mum. Sixteen, pregnant and paranoid*. Opens the door to find a police officer standing there looking like, well, a police officer (ie a hatchet-faced humourless prick). Immediately visualises every single horrible thing that can possibly go wrong with my dad, who is a (lovable, caring, responsible) wanker (who, amongst other things, steals fire extinguishers from railway carriages and falls out of said carriage causing major head injury, and who is eighteen years old for those of you about to ask).
Officer allows her a few minutes to percolate these horrible, paranoid thoughts before presenting her with a bag of fish'n'chips that my dad has sent home with this bastard.
*I'm NOT a chav. I'm a BOGAN. It's COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
(, Fri 23 Sep 2005, 14:39, Reply)
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