The Police
Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
( , Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
( , Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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On the other side of the coin . . . (yep, another long one! I can keep going all night.)
(I originally posted this on the "Toilets" QOTW, but it was ever-so-slightly off topic! Maybe it'll go better in this QOTW.)
I was recently on a camping weeking in North Wales. We camped about 3 miles from the nearest town and decided to get a lift from a mate who lives there into town for the evening.
Left the pub about 11:30. Tried to get a taxi but the earliest one would have been about 1am. "Come on", I said to my mate, "we can walk back to the campsite in an hour". So we did.
About half way there I really needed a piss. Obviously there were no facilites as it literally was the middle of nowhere. So I went up a little path while my mate waited by the road.
We were half-heartedly trying to hitch a lift from passing cars, so while I was relieving myself my friend was putting his thumb to good use. Unfortunately the only car that came past was a police car. It stopped up the road and reversed back down to him.
I had finished pissing by this point and was walking back. From where I was I could see a car with a light on the roof. "Great", I though, "he's managed to flag down a taxi." When I got a bit closer I could see how wrong I was, but it was too late to go back.
As I walked past the older copper said "Oy! What have you just been doing?" After attempting to explain the situation away, I finally admitted what I'd been doing. Long story short, they took my name and address (the younger copper gave me a bollocking because, frankly, I wasn't being very respectful, but they were being patronising jobsworths.)
Anyway, the upshot was I got given a warning, of which I am strangely proud. But come on, I ask you, where else are you supposed to take a piss in the middle of nowhere? Honestly!
So, who else has an ASBO then?
( , Sun 25 Sep 2005, 13:42, Reply)
(I originally posted this on the "Toilets" QOTW, but it was ever-so-slightly off topic! Maybe it'll go better in this QOTW.)
I was recently on a camping weeking in North Wales. We camped about 3 miles from the nearest town and decided to get a lift from a mate who lives there into town for the evening.
Left the pub about 11:30. Tried to get a taxi but the earliest one would have been about 1am. "Come on", I said to my mate, "we can walk back to the campsite in an hour". So we did.
About half way there I really needed a piss. Obviously there were no facilites as it literally was the middle of nowhere. So I went up a little path while my mate waited by the road.
We were half-heartedly trying to hitch a lift from passing cars, so while I was relieving myself my friend was putting his thumb to good use. Unfortunately the only car that came past was a police car. It stopped up the road and reversed back down to him.
I had finished pissing by this point and was walking back. From where I was I could see a car with a light on the roof. "Great", I though, "he's managed to flag down a taxi." When I got a bit closer I could see how wrong I was, but it was too late to go back.
As I walked past the older copper said "Oy! What have you just been doing?" After attempting to explain the situation away, I finally admitted what I'd been doing. Long story short, they took my name and address (the younger copper gave me a bollocking because, frankly, I wasn't being very respectful, but they were being patronising jobsworths.)
Anyway, the upshot was I got given a warning, of which I am strangely proud. But come on, I ask you, where else are you supposed to take a piss in the middle of nowhere? Honestly!
So, who else has an ASBO then?
( , Sun 25 Sep 2005, 13:42, Reply)
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