a friend of mine how is a police man
moved forces a few months back, luckly he'd just pasted his inspectors exams so he was chuffed, unfortunatly he has to do his stint in the custody block booking in and out those who walk the wrong side of the law.
he had a choice between the largest custody block in england or a smaller one a few miles away, being lazy he opted for the smaller one, which as luck would have it was where they take all the murderers and violent criminals, but enough about that, this particular evening he took delivery of a couple of ner' do wells that had been caught burglerising a house. booking them in and taking them to the cells was the easy part, but then they had a coded warning that a bomb was on site, so one by one the prisoners were handcuffed and led out into the courtyard until the all clear was given, then one by one back inside, the cuffs takne off and back in the cells.

when it came to the young ner' do well's, the key wouldn't fit and after some frantic searching it turned out that they were old cuffs that hadn't been used in 15 years and shouldn't have been on site, to which one of the burglers inquired what would happen now?

my friend turned to him and said that they would have to call the fire brigade and cut them off, which one of the ner' do well's got the wrong idea and though they would have their hands cut off, cue him starting to blubb and then proceed to be violently sick over his partner, who at the stench and the retcheing was also violently sick at his friend and the thought of having his hands cut off.

it was alright in the end they managed to find an old key and get them back in the cell, still smelling of vomit.

aparently the cell block smelt awful for days.
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 10:50, Reply)