Wee and weed
It's been told before, but I figure it's worth re-telling, as it's doubtful anyone will remember.

Many moons ago, while I was staying with my parents in the sleepy town of Ludlow, Shropshire, I spent a fine evening filling up on a variety of fantastic ales. As a result, my bladder decided to take a break in the doorway of a charity shop in a pedestrian-only street. Running silently, a bacon-mobile rolled up behind, presumably having built up speed and killed the engine 100' away. As a result, I turned around to two coppers standing right behind me. Given that this town was known for its drunken behaviour, they probably weren't too bothered, but they wanted to give me a dressing down for my public indecency. In my alcohol-addled mind, I decided to run for it. Given that I was all of 2 feet from them, and tried to run between them,I made it all of about 1 step before being collared. In restrosepct, I have a newfound respect for the evasion method of Jason Bourne. They decided that I could with a bit of time down the nick, which was all of 200 feet away. They put me in an interview room, left the door ajar, and left me alone. After about 5 minutes, with no-body seeming to be paying any attention to me, and beginning to feel a little parched, I decided to have a wander around. I strolled into what must have constituted the control room, and asked the three or so officers on duty for some water. They told me to help myself to the water cooler, and get myself back in the interview room. Another 5 minutes passed, and again my cup ranneth empty, so I repeated the same move. Again, they told me to go sit down. My interrogation consisted of about 3 minutes of asking me what the hell I was doing micturating upon private property, I apologised, and they threatened to take me home and wake up my parents. I spun them a flimsy yarn about my dad becoming physically abusive to me if they did, and they realised I was probably better of being let loose to get myself home. They charged me £80 for the act, and kicked me out.

Clearly, I was in the wrong for both pissing on the doorstep and trying to run away, but that £80 still stung me. Until, that is, a year or so later when a couple of friends and I went to pull a desk out of a skip in Brighton police station car park, and found an old evidence envelope containing about 3 ounces of weed. We couldn't believe it, and bolted sharpish. I took my oz. share of the booty, smoked until I felt retarded, and decided the sell the rest to buy myself an external sound card for my laptop. All in all, I ended up being about £30 up on the Police force. Cheers guys.
(mofoitk Vulcanising the whoopie stick in the ham wallet, Thu 5 May 2011, 20:54, 1 reply)

Nice one! *Click*
( Vambo, Thu 5 May 2011, 23:10, closed)