phone the non-emergency number
A little while ago I wasn't sure which emergency service I needed so I phoned the non-emergency police number and explained the problem and they said they'd sort it out.

Three minutes later we had eight pc's, one fat sergeant and two paramedics in attendance and enough emergency vehicles outside to block a very large junction.

My call to the non-emergency line ?

"Erm, my neighbour has gone a bit potty taken all her clothes off and is trying to have sex with everyone, who should I call ?"
(moments, Fri 6 May 2011, 12:35, 9 replies)

Wonder why they turned up in such numbers...........
Hahaha.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 6 May 2011, 12:56, closed)

Was she hot?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:16, closed)

^my thoughts exactly

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:18, closed)

erm
she's a 25 year old dance and drama student. You can make your own mind up on that
(moments, Fri 6 May 2011, 14:02, closed)

so why did you call the police then?
should have gone outside and let her have her sordid way with you
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 6 May 2011, 14:11, closed)

a) My wife would have had some strong opinions on that
b) I was a bit worried she'd end up wandering the street and Hackney is not the safest place to do that naked
(moments, Fri 6 May 2011, 14:15, closed)

Ghostbusters

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:22, closed)

118 118?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:46, closed)

I think I know why the paramedics turned up...
...bunch of perverts, the lot of us..er, them.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 6 May 2011, 13:48, closed)