Since there's a few stories like this floating about at the moment - here's mine - a proud moment for me:
A policeman came to our primary school when I was about six, to tell us all how to be good, law-abiding, unquestioning citizens. Afterwards he asked if we had any questions, and up shot my hand.

"Have you ever had anything stolen from the police station?" I asked, to huge laughter from all the little girls and boys.

Looking back, I am jolly pleased with the critical nature of my thinking.

Turns out the week before someone had, too - they'd left the motor running on the dog van, and someone had got in and driven off.

Sadly my mind didn't extend to asking if the perp had been mauled to death by having their face ripped off, exposing their teeth and ocular muscles, but hey - at least I'd wondered.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:34, 7 replies)

More likely the perp sold them on to an underground dogfight
and they were torn to pieces by pitbulls while heavily-tattooed men bet on the outcome
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:11, closed)

I'd like to think so, but obviously I was a bit to young to find out.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:20, closed)

Hmm...
You can sell policemen these days eh? How much are they worth? Might get a few quid for the ones I have chained in my cellar. Probably just as well to get rid of them. One of them is starting to whiff and hasn't said a word for a few days.
( SteamedCleaner, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:25, closed)

If I paid you in 1ps and 2ps
it'd be coppers for coppers

and that's the best joke I could think of
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:58, closed)

You could pay with dancers and thus exchange
Boppers for coppers.

Or axes.

Or flacid things.

Or rabbits.

Or people who chop bits off things.

Or clean floors.

Or some amylnitrate.

Or large formal hats.

Or burgers from Burger King.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 May 2011, 13:10, closed)

How about
"Put it on my Bill."?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 May 2011, 13:47, closed)

Baaaaaaaahahahaahahahahhahaha!
WIN!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 May 2011, 14:02, closed)