Prejudice is everywhere.. and worse out of the UK..
Long time lurker, so first post so be easy on me.

I have been with my current girlfriend for more than 3 years now and we are an odd pairing by conventional standards.

Me: White Her: Indian born and bred

In the UK the worst prejudice we get is the odd idiotic chav calling her a Paki (when she is not) or the odd sneer in the street from people. In social situations, people can let their guard down and reveal their perceptions of cultures and race and all which is mostly amusing more than anything. Explaining that no, not all Indians are muslims, not all worship cows and no, people do earn more than one penny a day in India. The UK, despite our self determination to bash it for what it is, is a reasonably tolerant place and I often think people have no clue of how severe racism is elsewhere.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, in India, her parents hate me as I am not of the same culture and have different values to them, but they have admitted that it is, basically not right for me to be with their daughter as I am white. Her parents disowned her a year or so ago over this, she has lost friends over this is well as being the subject of isolation and rumours in her home town as she is in their view a whore for being with a white man, despite our long term commitment to the relationship. Prejudice has its place in every corner of society in India. From someone at the airport angry at me and my girlfriend for messing “their culture” and the guy who told us that its not possible for Indians and white people to have children.. as if we are a different species!

And with this in mind, in India, you are judged by the fairness of your skin. Constant streams of Nivea “whitening formula” to make your skin two tones lighter run throughout the day on tv, on kids tv I should say. People virtually bow down to me in ‘respect’ in India, they will do anything for me, want my opinion on anything and everything and aspire to be ‘as successful as me’ when I am little more than a two bit solicitor. But with this perverse superior treatment I receive from normal customers (more wealthy than me I might add) you have this hideous system which judges everyone by the shade of their skin, and predetermines whether you are to be a cleaner, or a somebody. My girlfriend by her own admission got her job as a television presenter in a larger city on the basis that she is fair skinned and nothing more. They even said with glee "fantastic! you are the lightest with have interviewed all day!"

So its a bizarre mixture of prejudice that works for and against you at different intervals in India.

As much as I love it in India, working here, living here, prejudice is ingrained in every aspect of society.
(DisKo, Sun 4 Apr 2010, 22:11, 3 replies)

I feel for both of you
IMHO, Indian prejudices can be very debilitating - what makes them even worse is the utter *crap* they are based on.

Just so you know, it works across the board as well - e.g. a Sikh marrying a Jain would be viewed like a dog + cat setting up house.

Keep strong and ignore the two-bit f*****s
(zero.coke, Sun 4 Apr 2010, 23:05, closed)

I visited India a few years ago..
Amazing place, and culturally breath-taking.

The amount of times i was asked to 'bless' a baby to bring good luck to the family was beyond me.

But you're right about the pro-western image, and the 'whitening' skin formula. Quite upsetting really, when the natural tones of Indian skin and the beauty of an Indian woman in a Sari outweighs the typical t-shirt and jeans image that they strive for.

Incidentally, it was an amazing place and i do wish to go back.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 0:02, closed)

One of my exes was half-Pakistani and half-Latvian
I was naive enough to assume that in the Home Counties in 2003, an interracial, interfaith relationship would no longer be such a big deal. Given that Essex is about 98% white, I'd assumed we'd meet less trouble than perhaps you'd find in places with a substantial non-white community.

Oh no.

It wasn't a long relationship, mostly because I eventually learnt he already had a fiancee, but I learnt a lot of interesting new words and was the recipient of even more dirty looks than I'd been given in my life (and I'd had a few). What really stunned me is that it was still happening - because I was born long after race riots and the threat of the NF, I never questioned the idea that all races ought to be treated equally, just like I never questioned the fact that I'd be paid as much as a man would be for doing the same job.

My fiance is half-Italian, and we get far less hassle in the streets now. However, his schooldays were riddled with racist (xenophobic?) jokes and bullying. Even now, when people hear his surname for the first time, some can't resist making tired and obvious horse's head/offer he can't refuse jokes. If I find out anyone does the same to the kids we hope to have one day, I'll be in their headteacher's office shouting the odds before they could blink. Still, you sort of expect it from kids - they haven't yet learnt the social niceties and good behaviour you'd expect from a responsible adult. Where this leaves the racist adults is another issue entirely.
(Trauma, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 14:13, closed)