Pants
Call it laziness, call it mental illness if you like but I hate going shopping to the extent that I order anything and everything online.

The elastic on my undergarments was starting to give so I had a look on ebay.

"John Lewis mens briefs brand new in box" it said on the item description. "They'll do" says I and paid my money.

A couple of days later the seller contacted me and informed me that the item was damaged and did I still want to go through with the sale. Me, thinking that the box was bent or something said "yeah sure, knock a bit off the price if you like". He refunded me 24p.

Another couple of days passed and a parcel arrived. "How exciting" I thought as I ripped it open "I can't wait to see my new plain white John Lewis briefs"*.

I held the box in my hand and noticed that it was ripped. Someone had obviously taken one of the pants out just to have a look at. "That explains the 24p off" I mutter silently to myself.

I pulled out the top pair of pants and as I did so, noticed the shimmer of a short curly hair fall from the packet to the floor. "Hmmm". I held up the pants to the window light and there, looking like the morning sun in Autumn, was a large yellow piss-stain.

I was all for putting them through the wash but the missus made me chuck them. She also made me hoover thoroughly to catch that elusive pubic hair.

There's a moral in there somewhere.

* OK, it wasn't that exciting really.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:39, 2 replies)

EEEEEwwwwwww
That's all.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:08, closed)

See, you can do that with men's pants
but you can't sell ladies 'secondhand' pants on ebay.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:21, closed)