Maths Coursework
In order to delay having to actually do my A level maths coursework, I constructed a series of lies that eventually required far more effort to maintain than just doing the twunting thing would've.

When questioned on the first day of a new academic year why I had not handed in said coursework on the last day of the previous term, my brain ( dulled by a slovenly summer) came up with the following response:

"Oh, I posted it to you over the summer. It was recorded delivery, so if you were out when it arrived they would have taken it to the depot"

This was a less than perfect response for several reasons, the most obvious of those being that my teacher had never given me his address. Clearly he wanted to watch me squirm, as he then asked me to bring in the proof of recorded delivery bit of paper. The next day.

Right, time to construct an alibi.

1) Go to reception and request teacher's home address. Fairly easy
2) Run to post office at lunch time, obtain a blank recorded delivery form. Not too hard, since you only have to pay for them if you actually intend to send them
3) Go to Starbucks, tip extortionately for already overpriced coffee. Then ask coffee serving man (Barista? I Don't think so) if I can borrow date stamp. Fiddle with stamp to show a date sometime in the middle of previous summer.
4)Take now addressed, date stamped proof of recorded delivery back to teacher as triumphant proof that you did indeed post coursework.

To which teacher replies "Okay, print off another copy and bring it in tomorrow" Fucksocks

6) spend all night up to the eyeballs in f(x) graphs actually doing the sodding work, having wasted all day creating a pointlessly elaborate alibi

I think the moral of the story is think of better lies.

Oh, and 4 years of lurking probably counts as procrastinating too.
(wordsworthless is outnumbered but never outpunned, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:16, 8 replies)

I'm
surprised the school gave you the maths teachers home address...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:22, closed)

Surprised staggered and thinking about the legal position...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:29, closed)

Hey....
whoever let the truth get in the way of a perfectly good story?

Not me, certainly!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:52, closed)

Me too
It required a bit of "Colombo Detective Work". I knew the street and house number (I used to live in the same street) so simply presented a piece of paper with that on it and a smudged post code and asked "Mr soandso gave me his address, I can't read the post code though" and bingo.

As you can see, really far more effort than it was worth!
(wordsworthless is outnumbered but never outpunned, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:38, closed)

Fail
If you lived in the same street, your postcode would be the same as his. If you knew his house number there'd be no need to go to reception and enquire...

Good original story though, exactly the sort of procrastination I'm renowned for. As chickenlady says there's no point letting facts get in the way of a good one!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:51, closed)

I guess
I'll follow my own advice in future and think of better lies! Tis true except for obtaining the address (teacher had actually given it to me before the summer for the specific purpose of posting it over the holidays). A sort of embellishment dressing over a story salad.
(wordsworthless is outnumbered but never outpunned, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:44, closed)

Postcodes
are different for opposite sides of the road.

words... is your sig a Prodigy reference?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 21:16, closed)

I thought
Your postcode pinpoints you to within about 10 houses. I do know that long roads have plenty on the same side of the road.
(Not him., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 22:30, closed)