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Broken Arrow says: Bankers, recruitment consultants, politicians. What professions do you hate and why?
( , Thu 27 May 2010, 12:26)
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If I were, say, selecting the England cricket team and I asked you to play, the reponse, "I'd love to, but I refuse to bat, bowl or field or come on tour, but I'll take that England cap and share the glory of any subsequent victory..." would not be acceptable.
So, instead of spending 10 minutes writing me a shouty email about how the small administrative task you have been asked to do for your course is taking up too much of your precious and important research time, spend that 10 minutes actually doing that task then maybe you won't send me to an early grave due to chronic hypertension.
You might also like to bear in mind that you have tenure. I don't. I'm constantly walking on a knife edge, whereas you could be caught
(*) edited for improved hyperbole
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 13:39, 7 replies)
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You need a more anally lacerating implement to lend your hypothesis the necessary hyperbole. Can I be so bold as to recommend a chainsaw?
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 14:10, closed)
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There are other kinds of pipette that are way bigger. A burette would still be funnier, though.
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 14:14, closed)
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But I take your point.
How about "anally raping someone with a YAG laser"?
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 14:16, closed)
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That would be truly excellent. I imagine it would leave the research team with crispy starfishes?
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 14:19, closed)
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And wonders where he can acquire a YAG laser to get the missus revved up...
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 14:47, closed)
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Sometimes the beam profile's not that even, but it would do a good job of frying a bumhole regardless. And all in a few microseconds!
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 15:42, closed)
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I have to get me one of these. Are they expensive?
( , Fri 28 May 2010, 17:34, closed)
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Sounds very crispy, but won't the heat cauterize the wound, thus suppressing any satisfying bleeding?
I can't believe I just typed that!
( , Sat 29 May 2010, 21:49, closed)
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But perhaps alternate assaults by razor and YAG laser in an orgy of bleeding and re-cauterisation might just be a way forward.
Can't believe I just typed THAT!!!
( , Sun 30 May 2010, 15:41, closed)
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