Health Insurance Companies
Them: "Can we interest you in private health care should you ever need medical assistance? It can cost as little as £1,000,000 a month."

Me: "Sounds promising, what do I do if I need medical care and need to make a claim?"

Them: "First of all you call this number where we will pretend to be helpful and will sort you out with a 'provisional' claim number and then we will sit around thinking up ridiculously tenuous reasons not to actually provide any financial help at all citing such long term factors as 'breathing', 'moving your limbs' and 'aging' as reasons why your cover is not valid for any treatment other than rectal exams and then only so we have a nice healthy hole to shaft you in".

(N.B This can probably be extended to the insurance industry as a whole)
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 28 May 2010, 15:53, 4 replies)

I am uninsurable.
Due to my, ahem, colourful past, they won't even give me a quote. It's a real fucker because I've got a lovely wife and child. It hurts all the more because I'm a 'productive' member of society now. Just because I sniffed a few powders in my youth and was stupid enough to go to the doctor about it, I'm on a hiding to nothing.

To all of you who have drug problems, there are affordable ways of getting it sorted privately and without going on ...THE LIST.

Gaz me if you need.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:05, closed)

I got offered a 1 month free trial from a life insurance broker once...
If I'd ever got the chance to experience their amazing levels of service and payout, I wouldn't need it anymore would I?
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Fri 28 May 2010, 17:35, closed)

Bupa are nothing like that.
Whenever I have made a claim it's been dealt with and approved quickly with very little effort on my part.
(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Sat 29 May 2010, 11:11, closed)

Do you work for BUPA?
I have been with BUPA, AXA PPP and PPP when they were just PPP, etc, etc and deal with insurance companies on a number of different levels both professionally and personally and although there are certainly individuals who are great at their jobs the corporations themselves are conniving, two faced, stab-your-granny-through-the-eye-with-her-own-knitting-needle evil bags of Satan's own nipple wax.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Sat 29 May 2010, 18:26, closed)