telephone sales people
Mainly the ones the cold call for home insurance companies. I have one at the moment, been calling me for about six weeks now, i recognise him number and i have answered inavertantly a few times an told him politely the NO i dont want to switch my house insurance to wechargeyoulessbuthiddencostsreallyfuckyouupthearse.com/anddonteverthinkofclaiming/,you'd think after studiously ignoring the calls between six and ten times a day for the last six weeks they would of taken the hint, heck you'd be forgiven for me mistaking me saying "no i dont wish to change thankyou" for "not today but ring back in an hour"...but i was very very very direct and to the point when finally put through to the manager i said "take my number off your database and never ring me again or i shall be contacting my solicitor and hitting you with an harrassment charge" but no....nonononono the fuckspludgering idiots still ring every day, six times a day, seven days a week!! I have treied putting them on hold (for 2 hours) i have tried answering in the style of an angry bull mastiff, heck i even shouted cunt the fuck off once but no...nothing ...they still ring!!

fucking cheerful cunts!
(spinks its only kinky the first time, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:19, 6 replies)

I recommend
The Telephone Preference Service.
Makes it illegal for them to bother you.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:22, closed)

oh, and
saying "you do know I'm registered with the TPS and this call has been logged, don't you?" often makes them hang up quickly too.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:23, closed)

Never get angry and sweary with call centre people
For my sins, I spent a uni summer break working in a call centre many moons ago, and the people who go apoplectic with rage are the ones who really brighten up an otherwise incredibly dull day.

The more inventive you are with the swearing, the funnier it becomes, and they're more likely to rebook you for a return call, with either a note, saying "This guy is REALLY nice, but couldn't spare the time when we called, please ring back on ..." (In order to wind up their colleagues), or they'll just note you as a mentalist who'll cheer you up with some colourful language.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:26, closed)

Or be like this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2oXMdZ4sk
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Fri 28 May 2010, 19:36, closed)

or this one....
vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=16733006
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Fri 28 May 2010, 19:37, closed)

Wire an amplifier to your phone
and blast them with siren noise at unsafe, vomit-inducing volumes.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 28 May 2010, 19:38, closed)