public nudity
Sunbathing on the rocks at a nudist beach near Callela.The close proximity of my naked girlfriend encouraged an impressive semi of which I was so proud I would stand frequently to gaze out to sea.Through sunglasses I was aware of a group of spanish couples nearby, the giggling girls of which were commenting upon my magnificence.After an hour I stolled proudly into the sea to cool off.Within seconds I realised my mistake... my sea serpent had morphed into a shrimp.I waved frantically at my girlfriend to join me so that I could ask her to fetch my swimming shorts.She waved back and then ignored me.Half an hour later I had no choice but to wade out of the sea to the loud laughter and obvious delight of the guys in the spanish group.Humiliated? I've never felt so small in my life.
(mallyjoe, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 13:12, 4 replies)

nobody looked at your dick

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 13:37, closed)

public nudity
Thank you doctor, that's really reassuring to know.I didn't realise you were there! I assume you were the fat, pasty retard wanking furiously behind the rocks.Your secret is safe however as nobody looked at your dick.
(mallyjoe, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 14:51, closed)

http://b3ta.com/questions/publicnudity/post2328445

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 15:25, closed)

Reminds me of the famous Dolphin Fondler
True story - a man was arrested for allegedly sexually molesting a dolphin, somewhere on the North East coast of England. When it went to trial, his defence was that it would be impossible to assault anything with a penis which had been exposed to the freezing water of the North Sea. He was acquitted.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 9:18, closed)