Quick wits
I was 19. I'd gone to University and started seeing this girl who was very much from the other side of the tracks to me. So posh she thought her family lived 'relatively modestly' because they'd had to cut down to just the one house and dad had sold the yacht when he retired. Lovely girl though, and she had the sort of body only produced by phenomenal genetics and a youth spent on gymnastics and netball.

Now this was my first proper girlfriend and I was making the best of having a regular source of nookie on tap. In short, reader, it nearly fell off. However, come the end of our first blissful term together, the time came to go home for the summer. I went back to the Midlands, and she to the Home Counties.

Of course, the passions of young love can never be denied for too long, and after a few weeks she prevailed upon her parents to invite me to visit for a long weekend. I was put in the bedroom furthest from hers in their palatial home, and her Dad suggested to her that I might wish to stay there. Me venturing to her room, or vice-versa, was strictly off-limits. The controlling old git even checked that we weren't sneaking about in the night through the rather un-subtle ruse of throwing the dog into my bedroom in the middle of the night then apologetically coming in to remove it. I instantly cottoned on to his subterfuge, as even at my then tender age, I had enough experience to know that King Charles spaniels rarely pass through doors at waist height without some form of extra-canine propulsion.

Anyway, a few days into my stay the tension was mounting enormously, and we'd started looking for quiet moments where we could steal a little intimacy. However, her father's hawk-like gaze ensured we never had a chance to properly fulfil our youthful desires. I was also too scared due to her father's attentions to even attempt self-abuse. In short, I was primed to blow, and liable to fill a skip.

Our opportunity came when her Mum, who'd never learned to drive, needed a lift into town. Jane drove her in, and as her mum went off to pick up some photos she'd left to be developed, we were left in the car together. It being a multi-storey where we could see people approaching from a good way off in all directions, and knowing we had a while before her mum returned, we hatched a cunning plan by which we would both remain seated in the front of the car, but she would lean over and offer oral relief whilst I kept watch.

It was probably the occasion and my desperate need as much as her admittedly amateur technique, but I will probably go to my grave remembering this as the best blow job I have ever had. I had promised, being a gentleman, that I would warn her before I came, but I realised as she bobbed away in my lap that I had absolutely no intention of doing so, and indeed that due to the expected volume of liquid involved and the force with which it would likely be expelled, there was no practical solution under the circumstances other than to ensure it all went in her mouth.

Then, I was faced with a curveball which would have thrown even the steeliest of men into a panic - as I built to a volcanic climax, I clocked her mum coming out of the doors at the other end of the otherwise deserted garage...

It was dark in there, and I knew I had at least a few moments before her mum's eyes adjusted enough to take in the situation. With impeccable timing and the execution of a porn star, I shot my load in a mighty spasm. In order to maintain control of the situation and ensure no spillage, I was obliged to hold Jane's head down.

Once I released her, she sat bolt upright in the driver's seat and glared at me with obvious outrage. I had discovered months before that she did not swallow, and she was in an obvious fit of pique at my betrayal of our prior agreement. She would probably have shouted at me if I hadn't pointed out the front window and mouthed 'Your mum!'.

Now, most people would have abandoned their prior stance and swallowed at this point, but Jane was a principled girl. Hence her driving her mum and me the two miles back to the house with a mouthful of my cum, making small talk all the way, before slipping off the the bathroom to spit it out when we got back. Her mum commented afterwards that she looked rather pale and shaken. Unable, due to her parents scrutiny, to find a quiet moment to harangue me for my ungentlemanly behaviour, she used it as an excuse to say she was ill and stayed in the house in her room whilst I ventured to the pub with her parents and got, in the common parlance, royally cunted.

Surprisingly, this relationship endured for several more months and she even reversed her previous position on ingesting man milk. Result.

Obviously, no apologies for length, volume, or element of surprise. I only did what was called for under the circumstances...

I have absolutely no idea why I've written this in a slightly fruity faux-Edwardian style, by the way, it just seemed to flow.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 17:08, 7 replies)

WINNER!!

( applehead herp derp, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 17:13, closed)

^^
Indeed
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 17:21, closed)

"and liable to fill a skip"
wins it for me
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 17:43, closed)

A nicely told tale
Nice one!
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 18:17, closed)

This is fantastically written...

*applauds*

*clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 12:32, closed)

"In short, reader, it nearly fell off"
Clicks.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 24 Apr 2009, 15:35, closed)

I imagined Hugh Laurie
reading it to me in the style of Bertie Wooster

*click*
( chart cat has an itch, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 7:23, closed)