back alley, bus stop buggery
It was the first time i'd took my new girlfriend (still together probs not after this though) out for a night on the town. We drank and got drunk mainly her but that happens when you give a girl triple vodkas and cokes and white lines all night.
So we started walking back to her place when she pulls me into a bus stop and starts to fiddle with mr willas so like any teenage lad who had, had none for a month started the jiggery pokery, when this little charver walks towards us bouncing like they do and comes and starts watching and looking like hes likng it until i turn around and he looks shocked. You see back then i had hair down to my shoulders and he thought we were a couple of sexy lezzas so having realised he starts his bounce up again and say
"ERE WHAT YA DEEING WITH THAT LONG HAIR CUNT FOR YOU WANT A PROPER LAD"
and then walked towards me as I pull my two first digits out of my ladies vagina. Now i'm not tough but beer muscles are beer muscles so why waste them, so i stood up which i can scare people with becasue of my giant hight so the young man backed away with a higher bouce trying to reach my face but only managing shoulder hight realises that my shoes are bigger than him and starts his bouce backwards now shouting
"DON'T MESS WITH THE MAD DOGS (a local gang who i dont think knew him because i would not be here now to tell this tale).
Well we laughed and I'd impressed the young lady (in my mind my little head man was doing his dance of happy and old willas knew he was getting some) so we walked were there would be no people to the alley behind this old pub near were she lived. Bang i bent her over whipped them sexy knickers down and banged away like an oil drill not even stopping for the old man walking his dog who strangley didnt seem to notice us. After about 10 minutes my balls were cold because for some reason i decided to pull my pants and trousers all the way down for more give. So i pulled out whipped my trousers up and slapped than fine ass, its sexiest but i love the arse (which i got a week later) damn my girl is easy and thats why i love her.
(Agent Dale Pooper k in the p, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 12:37, 7 replies)

Nice story
But jeeeesus, don't they teach teenagers spelling, grammar and presentation anymore? This reads like an 8 year-old's scrawlings, only more interesting and with less primary colours.
(Adamish Time of death, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 13:23, closed)

spell
check
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 17:56, closed)

>.<
you know, being a 'merkin' i have no problems reading the queen's english.
but dear gods, this one is impenetrable.
grammar & punctuation are apparently figments of the imaginations of the rest of the waking english-speaking world.
(fai is rocking khaz modan server as of, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 21:49, closed)

We're not all like that!
I promise!
(once_upon_a_time, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 23:58, closed)

As a fellow Merkin
Let me just say that it was our people who invented 1337-5p34k, and our 11-year-olds-on-AOL who perpetuate it...

The lesson - bad spelling and grammar are indications of stupidity and poor upbringing, not nationality. And something about glass houses.
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 15:59, closed)

Glass houses
Don't have sex in them without closing all the curtains unless you want to appear in this weeks QOTW?
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 12:55, closed)

squeegenlaaargum
if you don't understand that, you now know how i feel after reading your story.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 0:52, closed)