It was part of my job....
... No, before you ask, I wasnt and have never been fortuitous enough to be a male porn star.

I was briefly employed in the 1990s as a "Male Lead Fluid Operative", or to put it in Plain English, The guy who wiped the cum off the headboard in a porn set.

I remember one ghastly occasion when "Big Ben - The Meatiest 12 inches in Essex" was finishing off a 3 way with Mitzi Drip-Tray and Buck Socket.
He was reknowned for a vinegar shot which would've had Peter North looking on in silent wonder, able to cover the torso of a very sweaty female co-host in several quarts of warm translucent ejaculate.

I noticed the wincing of his face as he approached the 'tipping point' as it is referred to in the industry - or to those who spend hour after godforsaken hour in the middle of the night in front of their PC indulging in a massive binge of self abuse, the point of no return where one is unable to contain ones enthuiasm any longer and shoots one's bolt.

This was my signal to stand clear - he pulled his glistening hard shaft out of Mitzi's salmon pink vulva and with one or 2 deft actions with his right hand along it's length began to deposit his seed on her.
(For those who require a visual stimuli, think of the firemen in the gaviscon advert, and you're looking at the right ball-park.).

After 30 or 40 seconds at the business end of his now rapidly deflating manhood, she looked for all the world as though she'd lost a fight with a Mr Whippy machine.

That was a busy day for me, I remember spending the best part of the afternoon wiping the set down and had to take work home with me to get ahead for the next day!
(LunarJim, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 18:38, 3 replies)

I shall never look at the Gaviscon advert with a straight face again.
'she looked for all the world as though she'd lost a fight with a Mr Whippy machine'.

Ew!
( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:10, closed)

hey! So you can tell us the answer to an old question:
Randal Graves: [reading a magazine] You know how much money the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?
Dante Hicks: What's a jizz-mopper?
Randal Graves: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booths after each guy jerks off.
Dante Hicks: Nudie booth?
Randal Graves: Yeah, nudie booth. You've never been in a nudie booth?
Dante Hicks: Guess not.
Randal Graves: Oh man, it's great. You go into this booth and there's this glass between you and these chicks, and they put on a show for you for like 10 bucks.
Dante Hicks: What kind of a show?
[Customer walks up to counter with a bottle of glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels]
Randal Graves: Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do. I mean, these chicks do it all. They insert things into any opening on their body - *any* opening.
Dante Hicks: Can we not talk about this now?
Randal Graves: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean it up after each guy shoots a load, 'cause practically everybody does it right on the window. I don't know if you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
Offended Customer: I will never come to this place again!
Dante Hicks: Excuse me?
Offended Customer: Using filthy language in front of the customers, you both should be fired!
Dante Hicks: Oh, I-I'm sorry, I-I guess we kinda got carried away.
Offended Customer: Well, I-I don't know if sorry can make up for it. You've highly offended me.
Randal Graves: Well, if you thinks that's offensive, check this out!
[Shows him graphic picture from porn mag]
Randal Graves: I think you can see her kidneys!

==========================================

So how much money does a jizz mopper make per hour?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:27, closed)

It's not about the money.
It's about the love of the job...
(Vic Flange, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 14:07, closed)