English "lesson"
The Wagon and Horses is the sort of village pub that's about the size of an average frontroom and blokes stand at the bar with broken shotguns. (Not the same sort of broken shotguns one finds for sale in Newham pubs.)

A bloke from the village (utter twunt) was talking to some no necked, fat handed, but pleasant enough pikeys.

The last thing I overheard him say was "You know your problem? You just don't have a grasp of the English language."

Without even (as far I was concerned) the obligitory "Grasp this." They knocked him from one of the pub to the other many times over; they had to because it was very small. Each time was funnier than the last.

I still enjoy the memory of the look of confusion he wore as he decided wether it was real or not and tried to work out what he had done to deserve it.

Oh, and a man set fire to his own arm. On purpose. (insert firearm joke here.)
(bellboy last hit the tit on, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 7:57, Reply)