people in pubs.
At the local one night,a lad wanders upto the bar and says to the barman "I want my free beer please".
The barman chuckled and asked him politely what he wanted to drink,"NO ! " shouted the lad," I want my free beer !"
Barman " We haven't got any free beer,what are you having son?"
"I'm having my free beer! the sign says so !, I came in here yesterday and now it's today !!!,so I want my free beer !!!!"
By this point the lad was getting really agitated and starts shouting " look mate,the f****n' sign says free beer tomorrow ! "
The trouble was ,even after a few people intervened and tried to explain what the little brass plaque on the bar really meant ,the poor lad still didn't understand,and over the course of the year tried it again a few times but was eventually permanently barred from the establishment.

Another memorable night , somebody brought in a bag of Courgettes from their Allotment,and a very sexy barmaid started fondling the biggest one,digging her nails into it,"oooh" she said,"look at all the milky juice coming out of it",the pub erupted in smutty laughter !

Later on the same night,after closing ,a large group of regulars had gathered outside in the car park,the barmaid from earlier was at the centre of the attention,unfortunately her car had a flat tyre,and try as she might,she couldn't pump it up,so a regular who was watching the short skirted,high heeled courgette fondling beauty quipped in "why don't you just bend over and give it a blow love ?".Poor girl was a tad embarrassed.

Courgettes,brass plaques, barmaids and free beer tomorrow ,all good fun .
(sniffi the cat /remembers/this was /all fields..., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 22:40, Reply)