BOOBS! Now that I've got your attention...
When I worked at the Clarence Corner, I quickly became friends with the best security guard in the world. He is a big burly bald dude with lots of tattoos and piercings who could probably throw you out a window if he needed to (and had done so in the past, apparently), but an absolute sweetheart. He always gave us cool things when he found them around the pub (dropped change, misplaced bags of suspicious substances, etc) and had ice fights with me when we got bored. Not to mention bloody good at getting rid of bad drunks.

Anyway, I was having a loud conversation with my manager about something obscene, as usual, and the topic of boobs came up in the conversation. Security Guard appeared going, "What what, boobs, where?"
I laughed and said I'll just say "boobs" the next time I need to get his attention in a hurry.

Later on I was serving some people in the bottleshop attached to the front of the pub. They were a group of trendy young things in glitzy and glamorous clothes who were obviously way too cool to be drinking at the pub, but were nonetheless purchasing a million bottles of bubbly and vodka cruisers. After a spirited conversation about what to buy, one of the lovely young ladies gestured wildly to a bottle of liquor. Her top was pretty but not very practical. It billowed open and the girl suffered what some call a "wardrobe malfunction" (ie. her tit flopped out for all to see.

"Boobs! Boobs!" I yelled out to the security guard, who came a-runnin'...
(TheChicken Five hundred thousand points from Gryffindor, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 2:05, Reply)