My local
I was a bit dismayed to realise that I didn't have a local from whence I could regale you with stories of mirth and merriment. You see the pub closest to me is an oasis of despair in sea of council estates and terraced housing that was obviously designed by the Lego factory. It has strip lighting bright enough to cast a glow across a football pitch and still have a few lumens to spare. It's always empty and the clientèle who do pop in all wear hoodies and they don't stay long. My mates ventured in accidentally while they awaited my imminent arrival home and they informed me that they have several beer taps and none of them work. How the owner manages to afford his large mercedes benz shall remain an eternal conundrum to me.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 17:03, Reply)