Northampton, stabbing capital of England
Students in Northampton were always informally advised not to go out into town on a Saturday night, because that was when the locals temporarily ceased making love to their sisters and got rat-arsed. This was always taken with a massive pinch of salt...

My housemate's friend Max was visiting us for the first time. Word of the town's reputation (claims such as that in the header, which may or may not be fictitious) had worked their way back to my housemate's social group. Max's girlfriend had got wind of these rumours, and was so nervous about him going out there that in the end he was only allowed to come up on the proviso that she came too.

We spent the day putting them at ease, persuading them that there was no danger in going into town for a couple. We got a taxi into the centre and rolled into the first bar on the strip, a split-level Lloyds. We had just got our first drinks and found a table when some shouting started at the bar. This continued, then escalated. Glass started flying. A bouncer ran up, threw open the fire exit next to us and ordered us out. Standing across the street, rudely deprived of the beverages we had paid for, we could see around forty chavs, most of them dressed for pub golf, brawling. It was like a cartoon, a cloud of dust with limbs flying out of the edges. I swear I saw someone leap over the upper-level banister and into the throng. As we walked away, three riot vans (which we later learnt were always parked just around the corner on weekends) rolled up, their windscreen barriers down, its occupants holding their batons.

We went to an off-licence and bought a crate and a fruit-based drink for the lady, then went home and spent the evening listening to the distant sirens of the town.

This Lloyds was also where I pulled a pissed pensioner at lunchtime, was sick over the aforementioned split-level bannister and won £50 in one day off Deal or No Deal on the IT-box. And I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been there.
( af632 now has an alibi for, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 19:33, Reply)