Our landlord is a tight-arse wee shitebag
I live in a village not too far from Edinburgh.

When I moved here we had 4 places to go for a drink - 'the hotel', 'the bowling club', 'the masonic', and the boozer with a dodgy reputation known locally as 'The Flying Tumbler' (nothing to do with acrobats, and everything to do with air-launched glassware).

However, I digress. That was over 10 years ago. Now the masonic has closed due to falling membership, and the Tumbler has shut due to er 'police advice'. This leaves only 2 places to go for a pint.

The bowling club will sell you a pint of Guinness for £2.45. The hotel will sell you one for £2.95. Where do you think I go now? A membership of the bowling club costs just £15 a year. I made the money back in a weekend.

Meanwhile attendances at the hotel continue to wane, and no wonder. The landlord is a miserable tight-fisted arsewad. £1.50 for a can of coke? You must be fucking kidding mate.

His function room sits empty while the function room at the bowling club has something on every single weekend.

For big footie matches it used to be strictly standing room only in the hotel. Now you can have your choice of seats.

So what does Mine Host at the hotel do to change things around? Yes, that's right - he slaps 20p on a pint.

Aye, that'll get them back in their droves. You daft old bastard.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:13, 3 replies)

Some of these landlords
are utter utter cunts...

...and you've got yourself the king of cunts there, matey.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:22, closed)

The funny thing about him
is that he lives in a nearby town and his local is actually a really decent boozer.

We were on a pub crawl around the town and saw him in there. The place was stacked to the rafters. I'm amazed that he can't put 2 and 2 together and work out the formula.....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:31, closed)

Now that
is fucking priceless! Thats a winning post there in itself, matey!!!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:34, closed)