Sucked in!
Ok, that was the over-dramatised version. The non-dramatised version wouldn't have made good reading.

But yes, a copper pulled me for speeding (fair cop actually), then accused me of noncing up my then 10-year-old cousin. (Who's actually the closest thing I have to a daughter, and if anyone so much as thought about laying a finger on her I'd kill them with my bare hands.) And the copper found himself on the end of my pure fury.

Like I said, the events on which the dramatisation were based were fairly mundane. He was single-crewed. He ended up getting hit exactly once, square in the middle of the face. At which point I legged it back to the car and drove off.

At which point the awkward questions started coming from my cousin - "why did you hit that policeman?" and "what did he mean when he called you a peanut?"

See, nowhere near as exciting to read. But someone did put in an earlier post that they wanted to see the phrases "this did not sit well with me" and "the red mist descended". So there. *neeeerrr*
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:17, 3 replies)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:18, closed)

this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/purefury/post2105029
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:21, closed)

Yes dear.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:22, closed)

And did I mention...
the roundhouse and karate kicks, the judo chops, etc etc... and how I single-handedly took out an entire riot van full of coppers?

And did I also mention that my 10-year-old cousin was actually Hit Girl?
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:22, closed)

And that I touched her downstairs bits
while she was wearing that purple wig?
(spanishfly 2, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:26, closed)

Have you tried digging up?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:28, closed)

No
They're better warm.
(spanishfly 2, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:30, closed)

Oh, I'm so l33t...
Yes, I can change letters to numbers to make it appear like I'm impersonating another user too. And then change my signature to match. Ho-hum...
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:41, closed)

Prick

(spanishfly 2, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:45, closed)

NONCE!
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 3:36, closed)

Judo is an art of self defence
often utilising an opponents momentum against them in order to perform throwing manoeuvres.
Unless "Judo" is the name of you pet lamb, pig or cow.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 0:01, closed)

multilol

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:28, closed)

Looks like Larkin.

(McChinaman banned, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:50, closed)

Yes dear....
But you DID say in your first post the colleague stepped in to stop you from carrying out any further physical assault.
Yet in the reply, you say that there wasn't a second person, ready to jump out of the car (if he or she wasn't already), and therefore not ready to spray you full on in the face with a happy spray of CS.

Being honest, with all this bullshit you are coming out with, my betting is that if you do / did have have a 10 yr old cousin, I bet she thinks you are a bit of a paedo cunt, and so wouldn't get into a car with you on her own, as do most of us on here so forth.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 3:31, closed)

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Tue 1 Oct 2013, 14:30, closed)