At work
Some guy I work with has taken a disslike to me, which is fair enough. What I don't like is that he decides to try and make fun of me in front of as many people as possible. I must also mention that he's a great fat fuck, with shit hair and he constantly talks about himself. Here are two examples of how I've verbally bitch slapped him.

I'd just had a hair cut, which I was happy with. "Oh my god, did you actualy pay for that hair cut?" he jeers.
"Yeah, £20." I replied
"I paid £50 for mine." he gloats (His hair is un styled, just a brown nest on top of his head with some bleached tips)
"Oh, I didn't realise Harvey Price cut hair." I replied. Harvey price being a blind, mentally disabled son of a topless model for our non-uk readers.

The second occasion that springs to mind was a little more disturbing.
Over the course of a lunch break, he revealed he'd slept with a 14 year old boy. Obviously this made some people uncomfortable, as he'd essentially admitted to being a sex offender.
"How do you sleep at night?" asked a guy on the table.
"With 14 year old boys." I piped in before he had a chance.
(Mong goose, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 15:53, 7 replies)

have you reported him to the police?
Or are you supporting Noncery? You're as bad as they are you child rapist.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 27 Nov 2011, 17:04, closed)

Saying nothing is a positive endorsement, in my book.
Might as well pay the fat kiddy-fucker and be done with it.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 27 Nov 2011, 17:30, closed)

i'm phoning the plod.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 27 Nov 2011, 21:16, closed)

Gaz me your address and I'll post you the 20p for the call.
Just to be sure.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 27 Nov 2011, 21:45, closed)

I did actualy ask a friend on the police about it. He says without a name of the kid or any actual evidence it wouldn't go anywhere.
(Mong goose, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 23:17, closed)

They could at least pop round to ask some questions,
and arrange a quick trip down the stairs.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:46, closed)

And he said, like this, "I don't agwee wiv vat in the work place!"

No?

No?

Oh come ON!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 16:33, closed)