Not so much as a putdown...
....as a shut the fuck up, but it worked beautifully.

In a rather rough little bar in a beach town in Florida. Locals only, a mix of older fishermen, younger surfers, and a few basic drunks. Most of whom lived within walking distance of the place and knew each other at least on nodding terms.

One evening, our quiet descent into alcohol oblivion was interrupted by the entry of a stranger. A man who was obviously well-oiled, and had probably driven past and decided to come in for a nightcap. He starts to harass the bar maid into giving him a drink. She refused, and offered to get him a coffee and call him a cab. He continued to escalate his harassment. The entire bar is now watching attentively, and protectively of our barmaid.

He then proceeds to try to demonstrate his sobriety, by raising his hands above his head and exclaiming "Couldah drunk pershon do THISH??!! " among other things.
"Probably" says the barmaid.
"THATSH IT!!! I'm calling the policesh! screams the drunk.
"Don't worry, sir, I'll do it for you..." replies the barmaid who then turns around...
"Hey Pete?"

Cue arrival of the Chief of Police, and a couple of his colleagues who were sitting in the corner enjoying a quiet after work beer.
Cue departure of drunk to jail across the street.
( gp_guineapig, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 20:18, Reply)