Comedians! Heckling! Banter! Victory!
I'm very proud of this. Unjustifiably so, really, but it represents one of the few moments I've got the better of someone who is officially funny.

A few years we were at the Red Card Comedy event, watching Miucky Flanagan. He ended up walking off stage early owing to some dickheads that were really just ruining the show, but prior to that I was involved in a little back and forth.

My colleague, Graham, looks a little like Jesus. He's also a hopeless alcoholic. He was in his customary pose, standing behind the tables, swaying gently. I was seated at the front with my missus. I'm unsure of how the subject came up, but the erstwhile Mr Flanagan pointed at Graham and called out "Oi, Jesus, where's yer kaftan?"

Graham was in no condition to respond, so I intervened;

"Leave him alone!" I cried, valiantly. "You're hardly well dressed. Look! You've missed a button on your shirt, you scruffy bastard."

He looked down, amid laughter, saw he had a problem, and fixed his shirt. "I'm not wearing a tie either," he spat. "Does that offend you?"
"Not at all, you just look like an oik," I responded, expecting to receive a verbal kicking. It never came. There was a moment's thought, and Mr Flanagan hit me with "Where are you from?"
"Sheffield"
"Got any cutlery?"
"Yup" I said. "Fork off!"

I raised two fingers, sat back and basked in the audience's admiration, and he moved on with his routine.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 28 Nov 2011, 20:26, 2 replies)

Eh?
'erstwhile'????
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 8:11, closed)

Language fail.
Something I never expected to see, on this website.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 8:25, closed)