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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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When I was at school the grossly overweight French teacher ran a weekly caption competition
Each week a picture would go up in his form room and all students were welcome to post caption suggestions, generally ranging in quality from "potential Bruce Forsyth joke writer" to "future employee of The Sun".

This being a private, all-boys' school, we took mirth and humour wherever we could find it, and gathering around the notice board to read the entries was a popular pasttime. Winning said competition was quite the badge of honour. Consequently, one week I REALLY went for it, posting 15 or 20 separate entries. None of which were very good.

We all awaited the announcement of the winner with far greater eagerness than was deserved. With so many entries, I was absolutely convinced this was my week. Then the announcement was posted;


Nothing funny was said. Especially not by D. Foxtrot of class 10C.

The humiliation was crippling. In the company of many unfunny fuckwits, I'd been outed as the least amusing of all. I'd drawn attention to my own lack of humour by overdoing the LOLarious entries. And everyone looked forward to the winner being announced each Thursday, and consequently were all poised to pass cruel comment as soon as it was.

This story is actually entirely true, similarities to A Vagabond are totally coincidental and hilarious
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:13, 2 replies)
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 12:35, closed)
Faasands of 'em!
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:36, closed)

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