Don't drink the milk
I do cook, if I say so myself, a mean chili. And out of all the stuff I cook, it's my favourite meal. However, using real chilis means having to get the seeds out before chopping the chili up, which means the chances of hot, stinging chili stuff ending up on your hands is fairly high.

I'm much more careful now after the incident that saw me having to have a piss once the chili was on the hob; having to tug the foreskin off the bell-end before pissing; going downstairs and back to the kitchen and gradually noticing that my wee fella was feeling somewhat...warm. Then, very warm; then molten hot.

As any fule kno, the stuff in chilis that produces the burning sensation is not dissipated by water. Milk is the best antidote.

So I end up dipping my wick in a glass of milk for some while, hoping that it would reduce the volcanic action taking place down below.

It worked, after a fashion; or maybe the cringe-factor of placing my cock inside a glass of milk like a scene from a Germanic porn flick distracted me from the pain.

I threw the milk away. The chili was delicious. Now I spend many moments cleaning my hands after preparing the food (yes, as well as before - I'm quite hygienic) to avoid having to repeat the cow-juice bath of shame on future occasions.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:19, 7 replies)

I had a similar experience
except it wasn't me who was in pain..
( Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk / @joeyrobbo, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:30, closed)

Click*
Quote of the week so far: "Cow juice bath of shame".
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:04, closed)

why....
would you remove the seeds!? real men leave them in ;-) seed and membrane removal is far too much like hard work.
(keyboardman, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:16, closed)

because
I tried leaving the seeds in in the past, and it made the thing far too unpredictably hot. Remove all the crap, slice them up small, fry with the onion and peppers. Job done.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:45, closed)

This condition has a name:
Taco Bell
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:31, closed)

You forgot the part...
...where the blonde walks in and coos "Oh, I always wondered how you guys refilled those things!".

:D
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 4:07, closed)

Made this mistake in the past...
So now I keep a box of surgical gloves in the kitchen. When I've finished prepping the spicy bits, I discard the gloves, ensuring that I don't get a repeat of the Taco Bell
(fatedsnowfox, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 15:19, closed)