Hamsters, Gerbils and gratuitous nudity
I’d started dating ex-Mrs PJM during the long, hot and languid summer of 1997 and spent most of that summer in the sack like the over-sexed newly-coupleds we were.

After another bout of horizontal sumo wrestling, I found my post coital drowsiness was shaken by the racket emanating from the three large cages on the other side of the room, the rodent occupants of which conspired to deprive me of sex-sleep by gnawing at the bars and drumming their feet.

Having exhausted my supply of ammunition to throw at the little twats, I got up from the bed and approached the top cage to explain to the little fuckers that one more nibble would mean immediate postage to a Mr R Gere, Hollywood Boulevard.

However, it was nothing but a ruse. They’d co-operated and planned a trap from the very start.

While my attention was directed at remonstrating with gerbils, the notoriously vicious hamster in the lower cage had decided to seize the moment.

“Argh! You furry little CUNT!”

The evil little fucker had reached out through the bars and grabbed my swinging John Thomas before plunging his razor sharp teeth right into my defenceless bell end.

Having to explain the origin of the resulting scar has been a source of controversy ever since.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:50, 8 replies)

Be honest..
You were trying to find out if they liked the taste of cum weren't you ;)

... or am I judging you by my own standards there? :o/
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:04, closed)

For sale
Hamster - £4.

Slightly shitty.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:12, closed)

It feels wrong
to click 'I like this' but I do. And have.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:39, closed)

Fuck me...
that's all I can say to this...

fuck me...

click
( SpankyHanky, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:19, closed)

Perhaps they felt threatened?
That would explain the foot-drumming.

After all, how would you feel if approached by something far larger than you (say, a whale) with it's cock out? Particularly if the species in question had something of a repuation, for misuing your species for dubious personal gratification.

(I'm creeped out even typing this)
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:13, closed)

"a whale with it's cock out"
So you've met my ex-wife? I do hope she's well.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 9:17, closed)

I never clicked and answer before
but,......... CLICK
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 7:36, closed)

Oh My Good God!
The thought of tiny razor-sharp rodent teeth in that most sensitive of spots was one I really did not want.

*shudders, clicks & runs*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:27, closed)