Drunken Wierdness
Recently I've started doing strange things after getting drunk and falling asleep for a bit.

I snapped out of it one night to hear my girlfriend saying, "RALPH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
When things came into focus I realised I was stood with my cock in my hand pissing into her laundry basket, so responded with the obligatory "Umm... nothing"
"Are you pissing in my laundry basket?"
"ummmm, no"
I had to put a kink in my hose so I could waddle to the toilet without leaving a snail trail.

A couple of months back I woke up with a steaming hangover and had this conversation with the missus:
"Ralph, do you remember what you did earlier thismorning?"
"I did things?"
"Yeah, I woke up to see you walking out of the bedroom naked, then heard the front door go and saw you wondering around in the car park a moment later, with no clothes on. When you came back in I asked you what you'd been doing and you said 'nothing'. I told you what you'd been doing you said 'yeah well the neighbours love me' got into bed and went back to sleep."

I have absolutely no recollection of any of it.
(ralphseviltwin, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:35, 2 replies)

I have done this,
Except substitute 'laundry basket' with 'bed', and 'piss', with 'shit'.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:51, closed)

I have no idea why
but the last part had me almost crying with laughter. In the Uni library, you bastard.
I am getting very strange looks. I think it was "yeah well the neighbors love me" that sent me over the edge of suppressed chuckles.
(tomfacedkillah has not tossed a dwarf since, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 18:18, closed)