Oh Christ.
I've remembered one. *cringe*

OK. Here goes.

I was an odd kid. I was one of those late developers, you see, still playing with toy soldiers in my teens, and I never discovered girls until I was 15. This doesn't mean I wasn't interested in the ladies, though, with all their strangely alluring bumps and lumps, but I was a shy kid (not much has changed) so, erm, getting my grubby little hands on those wobbly charms was pretty much an unattainable goal for a twelve year old me.

What was a boy to do? All those hormones and nowhere to put them.

I found somewhere to put them. Perhaps a little predictably, I soon took an, ahem, "liking" to a toy I had had since I was just a tiny little sack.

Although this particular toy dog had always, in my eyes, been male, this didn't deter me as I fervently set about manufacturing what my teensy adolescent brain believed to be a reasonable facsimile of a fanny.

And so, all was right with the world. Many long, lonesome rainy afternoons were whiled away trying to work out if the scratchy, itchy cotton stuffing felt anything like the real thing. Poor old Scotty, or Scotina as she was now known, got pummelled within an inch of her poor life, and as she was about 10 years old, in dog years that makes her probably the luckiest seventy year old in existence.

Ah,but such bliss is not meant to last. I awoke one morning to a loud "AHEM". I opened my bleary eyes to see my dad standing, arms folded, at the foot of my bed. And there was a noise..... a sort of choking, coughing noise too. I peered over the edge of my bed to see my little love friend, arse burst wide open and stuffing everywhere. And there, in the middle of the floor, was my real dog, merrily boaking up the jizz encrusted innards that she had spent at least half an hour wolfing down.

I tried acting like I didn't know what had happened, but it's one of only three "knowing looks" that my dad's ever given me.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 20:57, 2 replies)

So
come on then, what were the other 2 looks for? We need to know!
(Rsoles, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 0:18, closed)

Those
are for other QOTWs :P

I get revenge these days though, bursting into the living room unannounced often results in him juggling with the remote as he tries to change the channel, the trick is to time your approach so he has just enough time to switch off the TV and look sheepish before bursting in.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 3:59, closed)