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This is a question Relief

Last week, I thought we'd run over and killed something. After steeling myself to get out and find the body of somebody's beloved pet, I found we'd squished a bin bag. When has something turned out not as grim as you first thought?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:38)
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Nicely written.
We adopted, so the whole meeting-your-kids-for-first-time was a completely different emotional affair.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 15:52, 1 reply)
I was there for the birth of mine.
I was expecting some revelation like old chutney up there but I didn't really feel anything if I'm honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 16:03, closed)
I haven't got any...
and if that's the kind of limp-wristed ponce that fatherhood turns you into, I don't think I want any either.
(I helped save b3ta! CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 16:05, closed)
Nah Cap you'll be alright.
If you're not some boo-hooing poof to start with you're fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 16:48, closed)
I was given a bundle shortly after my first son was born
I had to suppress the urge to voice the thought that popped into my mind -- What am I supposed to do with this boiled monkey?
I came around when it was more apparent that it was a live human.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 16:53, closed)
They only start getting good at about 1yr old really.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 16:57, closed)
Disagree. Every day from the first is ace.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:38, closed)
Different circumstances eh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:40, closed)
Yes. Of course. Forgot. Soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:49, closed)
Apologies on the internet?
Guhehehehehehehehaaaay.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:52, closed)
What a cunt eh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:53, closed)
You certainly are!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:56, closed)
ARRRGH, YOU GOT ME!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:57, closed)
They're cute but dull as fuck for the first nine months.
You might as well have a puppy. At least you don't get in too much trouble if you forget to feed them or leave them to die in the cold.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:46, closed)
Or have sex with them.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:47, closed)
Exactly.
Ex. Actly.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:51, closed)
I think that's just you and Ian Watkins, Monts

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:48, closed)
Haha, yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:49, closed)
So was I. Cut the cord and all that. Didn't get particularly emotional, just relieved both baby & wife were fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:37, closed)
Did you use your teeth?
The midwife wanted me to use some naff little safety scissors.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:53, closed)
I used a Zippo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:54, closed)
It was like trying to cut through a garden hose pipe.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:56, closed)
With a golf ball.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:57, closed)
Hang on....

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 17:57, closed)

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