Most Uncomfortable Poo
Blood? Anyone?
(zombiejosh wrow, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 3:08, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Well.
A good while back I was bunged up to fuck, I mean I'd not had a shit in 3 days not even a little rabbit tod. Consequently I could could feel a presence in my lower bowel which was a portent of things to come - ordinarily I'd got some ex-lax or what have you to loosen the payload but as I'd been working solid I'd not had the chance.

But then it came, the inescapable feeling of the brown trout getting ready to swim up river. The long awaited poo.

I suspected I was in for a long birth and settled down in the trap at work with a paper and relaxed my starfish only to be greeted by a ring stretching only ever seen in gay porn.

It was as thick as my wrist and studded with peanuts (consumed on day 2 of the poo drought) which ensured that this turd was not ribbed for my pleasure but succeeded in leaving my poor tea towel holder in a state similar to that lad from the potting shed scene in Scum. When I looked down it looked even bigger than it felt and took 3 flushes to finally depart.

I can honestly say that I let out a whimper and actually braced my arms against the toilet wall.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 13 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)