Poor unfortunate souls
In my younger years I worked on a cruiseship full of people you could only describe as rude, obnoxious, American pie eaters. Part of my job selling crap in the gift shops was to take care of the 'Jewelery Sale' which was staged on tables outside the main stores in a sort of corridor with a very dark grey marble floor. Now 17 hours a day sailing the ocean blue may sound like a dream job at first but inevitabley boredom sets in after a while and even the cheap liquor and cigarettes lose their hold over you...... enter a US quarter, superglue and a remote control fart machine, cunningly hidden under the table full of tat we were trying to flog to these trailer park idiots. Idea being- we superglued the quarter to the floor just close to the table with the cheapest rubbish on it (Therefore the busiest and with the fattest of the species) and as the greedy twunts bent over to try and pick up the cash- we let rip with a monstrous audio collection of rip snorters. Needless to say much hilarity ensued for those of us who worked there but for the poor victims of our torture even the lowest dregs of the bottom feeders around them started to shake their heads in disgust, (Not sure if it was because of the gas or the fact that someone saw the 25 cents before them!) some even convinced themselves there was a smell..

What's the most immature but hilariously funny thing you have done to torture some poor innocents who have done nothing except sweat, eat burgers and say "Huh?" their whole life?
(howmanyhangers, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 22:56, Reply)