My worst piss
Not sure if this has been done before or asked in this qotw. I really can't be arsed to go and read through 86 pages to check!

Anyway, I got thinking of the subject of my worst piss after a trip to dorset late last year.
I was walking the purbeck coastline, which meanders up and down loads of little coves (and goes on for miles).
Now, when it's windy, these coves are turned into funnels for the wind.
Take a stromy day and it's hard to stand up in one of them. The wind whips around in them, so it's hard to get any sheilding as it seems to come from everywhere.
Now, take one evilmeister and several pints of scrumpy. He decided it would be nice to do a quick 5 mile hike along the coast.
Throw in a stormy day and you know it's a recipe for disaster.
I decided to take a piss at the bottom of one of these coves. I'd needed a piss for about an hour and had been on the lookout for shelter. As none was forthcoming, I reasoned that the best place to do it was at the bottom of the cove, facing away from the wind.
I was having a real job just standing up, so I figured that the piss would just catch on the wind and fly away from me.
I unzipped, pulled out Mr Winkie and let fly with my glorious stream of golden sunshine.
At this point I learned about the way wind moves in a confined space. Instead of flying away from me, my piss turned around and became a 'piss cloud'. It flew straight back at me, drenching me from head to foot. I even got some in my mouth.
But such was the need to piss, that I couldn't stop. I tried spinning round, to get out the way of the piss cloud, but the more I pissed, the bigger it became.
I was soaked.
The strange thing was, my girlfriend had already started to climb up the next part of the path, so she hadn't seen what happened.
I dried myself down as best as I could and (till this day) have never told a soul about it.
For my shame, I offer this to you.
(EvilMeister, Tue 6 Mar 2007, 1:24, Reply)