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(
rob, Wed 14 Jan 2004, 13:01)
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Children of the damnedI've been baby-sitting for several years now, and fortunately the horror stories have kept to a minimum. It's still going to take a lot to make me forget when the youngest of two was still getting potty-trained.
"I have to use the bathroom."
"Okay, go nuts."
He dances out of the room and I return to whatever I was reading, probably Irvine Welsh. (Great example I'm setting for the sprogs, yes?) He dances back into the room, hands firmly clamped in his crotch and doing the poopy-dance.
"I have to poop."
"Okay, go poop."
"I need you to open the door."
"What?"
His older brother detaches from the TV long enough to tell me
"He's still being potty-trained, so we're letting him use the lawn."
"WHAT?!"
This still remains the one and only time I've had to call a parent. Their mom was very patient in explaining to me that yes, he can pee or poop in the backyard. It didn't help that I could hear their older cousin laughing herself sick in the background. My parents almost collapsed a collective lung when I shared the story with them. Fortunately, I was spared the task and asked the younger to hold it in until his parents got home, which he duly obeyed.
These are the same kids who would later say Ms. Scarlet of 'Clue' was ugly because she looked like a Japanese woman. This is the same night we're watching a TV version of 'Alice in Wonderland' and the same lawn-crapper declares Mr. Caterpillar (Sammy Davis Jr) to be a bad man.
"Why's that?"
"Because he has grey skin."
Once again, my parents come dangerously close to impairing their health from how hard they're laughing when I tell them about this, and I have to restrain myself from the same thing when I lecture the wee one about how that's not nice.
Despite these little incidents, I adore the lil buggers and they're two of the sweetest kids in the world. (They also got me into Harry Potter.) They're moving soon and it makes me sad, but as long as I have Sammy Davis Jr, I can still have the shame.
What delightful or horrible experiences have you had with children?
(, Sun 15 Jul 2007, 8:44, Reply)
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