How about....
"Weirdest Sexual Predicament you've ever found yourself in...".

I once pulled a lovely little lady whilst at polytechnic in the early 1990's.

We went from the union bar for a moonlight walk in the campus, our lips touched in a warm and passionate kiss under the light of the moon, then we went back to her room for some good old fashioned sex.

Except it wasnt good and old fashioned. I climbed into bed unclothed, and she appeared at the bathroom door wearing a strap on, her body, from her neck to her ample thighs (I do like 'em big, to paraphrase Benny Hill), were mottled with bruises and scars, some so intense as to actually make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in alarm.

On questioning her about the strap on, she revealed her intention to push it's entirety up my anus as some sort of fem-dom activity.

The bruises and scars were the remnants of her enjoyment of being battered during the act. Apparently, she glibly informed me, a previous lover had broken her jaw when he punched her in the face as he came.

Now I find that quite funny... then I ran from her room in terror.

A Sexual Predicament Indeed.
(Vic Flange, Fri 21 Sep 2007, 15:11, Reply)