Last day at the last place I worked
The last place I worked had the best office environment ever. A smallish development silo for a massive global company, we were left to pretty much get on with our work as long as we kept our servers up and processing data. The office was smack bang in the middle of Cambridge so almost every lunchtime we went to one of the many surrounding pubs in walking distance.

On the sad day when I decided I'd had enough, myself and my hardcore bunch of workmates - who I'm still great friends with - went for one last lunchtime pub trip and go for The Record. The most number of alcoholic drinks consumed in one lunchtime was 6 pints. It would be tough but I liked a challenge. So we went to WTs where, at the time just a couple of years ago, IPA was £1.20 a pint before 18:00. Seven pints and a shot of whisky* later I returned to the office at 15:00 taking slightly longer than the allotted 1 hour for lunch.

In the end I was the only person on my floor to return so late. Concentrating as hard as I could to walk in a straight line, I managed to get back to my desk and sit down in front of my computer. Result! Nice, calm, restrained.

For no reason whatsoever I suddenly burst out laughing while the whole office looked over at a drunken, shirking loon.

The office administrator whose thankless task it was to spend the collection money on a thoughtful present for the departed came round a little later and handed me a lovely Bonsai tree.

"What the fuck do I want with a little tree!?" was not the most diplomatic thing I've ever said.

But the worst faux-pas for the office was that that very afternoon was when HR emailed me a bog-standard leavers' form asking why I chose to quit. I wasn't in the best state of mind to answer delicate questions about what was wrong with the company and promptly filled any text box entitled "Describe in your own words..." with huge, rambling bollocks saying that all my co-workers were amazing and that head office were a shower of cunts etc. Don't know quite what my ex-boss made of that but I've played football with him since and he didn't try to kill me.

So in conclusion I recommend that everyone get completely plastered on your last day of work. No really, it was brilliant!

* - it may be my national drink** but it's hideous, evil stuff
**- Actually, Irn-Bru is my national drink
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:00, 13 replies)

click for drinking at lunchtime
On my last last day I went for a couple at lunchtime but the 3-4 hours between after lunch and your next pint is hell.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:04, closed)

I am still laughing at this after five minutes
You pisshead!

Have you started drinking again or you still being a boring teetotaller like me?

Also, I wish I'd had the guts to do that when I left Oriel. I didn't even get a tree. They left the exciting job of present buyingto Robin, and he mumblingly threw £50 at me. Class.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 May 2008, 13:07, closed)

hey sis
Yep, still on the wagon which is a bit hellish at the moment as the Cambridge Beer festival is on.

I bought some lovely Deuchars at the weekend so I've got something in the house when I finally crack.
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:10, closed)

...
which pub in Cambs? I'm from there, and am closely acquainted with a number of public houses there...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:18, closed)

BobFossil
We went to WTs on that day (so not technically a pub). Other favourites were The Tram Depot, The Free Press, The Cricketers, The Bakers Yard (before it was made all poncy and modern), The Champion of the Thames, The King Street Run, The Clarendon Arms and The Zebra. But not The Elm Tree, one of our number had been banned from there ¬_¬
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:23, closed)

Hey again
Apparently that new game IS available for the PC, so if you felt you had spare money burning a hole in your pocket etc...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 May 2008, 13:28, closed)

Penny Arcade game
If you're good I'll get it for you as a joint birthday and christmas present ;)
( djtrialprice, Thu 22 May 2008, 13:35, closed)

but... but...
that's like WEEKS away!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 May 2008, 13:37, closed)

I'm starting to wonder...
...if I'm the only person who hasn't been drinking in WTs..though I have sampled brews at all the other establishments (including the Elm Tree, we only got told off for swearing loudly many years ago but not banned!)
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:45, closed)

I went to Cambridge
Where the fuck is The Elm Tree?
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Thu 22 May 2008, 21:34, closed)

elm tree, WTs
cmouse - you should definitely give WTs a try. Good pool tables, cheap beer and poker nights.

Sonic - The Elm Tree is opposite The Cricketers on the corner of Elm Street and Eden Street.
( djtrialprice, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, closed)

I thought you were going to tell the reason why you quit.
I will.
(thrain, Sun 25 May 2008, 15:00, closed)

@thrain
Aye, go on then ;)

Did you see that your comment got me on the Best Of page? b3ta.com/questions/nerds/post126345
( djtrialprice, Mon 26 May 2008, 13:59, closed)