She quit on me, actually.
I've mentioned this before, so forgive me repeating myself- but the details are what make it a worthy story.

She was working for a staffing agency when I met her, a very pretty little brunette with curly hair and blue eyes. We got along very nicely, I thought- I got on well with her daughters, she liked my cooking, she liked my massages, and all looked good. Then one day she confided that she had been a stripper a few years back. Okay, says I. Not a big deal to me. She then confided that she had implants and had had a ferocious coke habit at that time. Okay, says I. You're not doing that anymore, right? Right. No problem. The past is gone, and as long as there's nothing life-threatening that I need to know about, none of it matters. Then she took me to her favorite biker bar, where we listened to a rather bad AC/DC tribute band. I had a great time, and chatted with her friends there. Next she took me to meet her family for a cookout. They were pretty blue-collar and rough around the edges, but overall very nice people and we got along great.

So the next time I go to cook dinner for her at her place she ends up dumping me. Why? Because I was too perfect, she said. She kept expecting to find out that I had something terrible wrong with me, that I wasn't the nice guy I seemed like, and when she couldn't find anything seamy about me, when she couldn't find any terrible secrets, it drove her crazy and made her tense. And with that she asked me to leave.

All I could think of was George Costanza from Seinfeld: "I've been dumped by an ex-stripper, Jerry!"

Not long after that I quit dating for a while...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 26 May 2008, 5:38, 16 replies)

*watery smile*
That's a good dumping story if ever there was one. Beats one of the lines I got: "it's unnatural to be friends with your ex; I'm not friends with any of the women I've slept with". Yes, could that be because you dump them by humiliating them?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 May 2008, 5:42, closed)

I take it you
Kept the bodies really well hidden then?
( Cawl, Mon 26 May 2008, 6:15, closed)

Oddly enough
I've managed to stay friends- or at least part on good terms with- most of the women I've been with. I can count on one hand the number of women I've ended really badly with. For a time frame of close to 30 years, that's not bad.

On the other hand, there are those who do wonder why I stay friends with former lovers. My answer is always the same- if there was something about that person that made them good and interesting enough to take to bed, they're good and interesting enough to keep as a friend. And so I have a lot of female friends, and have slept with a lot of them... but at the same time, I never go back to an ex, because if I broke off with them it was for a good reason.

Very few people really get that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 26 May 2008, 6:24, closed)

^^^^^THIS!!!!
A thousand times this!!!! He didn't get it either.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 May 2008, 6:25, closed)

OMG
You're the best!!!!!!
(Stevie Ruggling, Mon 26 May 2008, 11:09, closed)

.
So do you think she wanted to have a man with a dark secret, felt guilty about having had more vices than you or was she just too cynical to believe in your perfection? After having gone through what she went through, I can see where she developed her cynicism.

Re: staying friends with former lovers: I'm totally with you on this one.

EDIT: Have a * clickyhug *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 26 May 2008, 13:21, closed)

I think what it really was
was that she had come from a rather wild family of rednecks, the sort that had that reputation around town, had been a stripper and a coke freak, and saw herself as damaged goods that no decent middle-class guy would really want if he knew what she was really like. As I said, I took everything she said in stride and was perfectly fine with it, as she was now working a mainstream job and raising her kids and generally being someone I wouldn't have an issue with hanging with. She saw me as this ideal guy and couldn't understand why I would be trying to get involved with someone as sketchy as herself- and that's what was making her crazy. She couldn't buy that I liked her for herself, as she had never had a man really express interest in her as anything but a pair of perky tits and a gorgeous ass. So, when presented with what she had always dreamed of having, she found that she couldn't handle it- like a battered old hooker suddenly confronted with a unicorn. She felt unworthy.

It startled the hell out of me, to say the least, and hurt at first- until I started seeing the humor in it and realized that she had far greater issues than I would really want to tackle anyway. Then it stopped being hurtful and became hilarious.

She was followed by the Postal Worker, and then the Mad Stripper (who I've spoken of before here and here.)

And that was when I quit dating.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 26 May 2008, 13:47, closed)

^ ^
Maybe she just had self-esteem issues and was unable to think of herself as being worthy of you.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 26 May 2008, 14:04, closed)

Two strippers?
:-o
(Belgaer is, Mon 26 May 2008, 14:24, closed)

(Yorkshire accent):
huh - we used to dream of being dumped by an ex-stripper.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 26 May 2008, 18:49, closed)

Funnily enough...
I went out with a girl once who wanted to be a stripper.

I needn't tell you that it was great.

But she dumped me for being too OK about it. Apparently, me being cool about it and trusting her that she would come home to me and not offer 'extras' wasn't quite dramatic enough for her.

So, dumped by a girl who is now a stripper for being OK about it. Go figure. :)

*click*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 26 May 2008, 19:05, closed)

Well...
This one was not out of the business long- I think she had been working onstage within the previous five years or so. Therefor she was young and pretty and in wonderful shape- very hot indeed.

The second one had done her stripping in her 20s, was now in her 40s and was a dental hygienist running her own training school and had not aged particularly well, but was still very striking (that is, no longer a young hottie, but still fairly pretty). She was also madder than a box of frogs. Hence the name.

When I first met them I had no idea of their past profession, but wasn't particularly excited or repulsed when I found out- again, it's in the past, so it's only interesting as conversation material, and then only because it can lead to some interesting stories. The first one- the younger- reacted as I described, and the other one wanted to latch onto me like a tick. Dumped by the more-or-less sane one, pursued by the moonbat, completely bewildered by the whole thing, I decided that being single was really not a bad option for me.

That lasted for about three months...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 26 May 2008, 20:13, closed)

Well hey
There are worse reasons for a girl to leave you. A friend came around really drunk one night, obviously upset. A girl had dumped him because "he wasn't abusive enough."

Huh?

So he spent the rest of that evening telling her how fucked up she is.
(Sco smokes crack often., Mon 26 May 2008, 21:04, closed)

I think in many ways that's quite common
Not being dumped by an ex-stripper.

Women (or men for that matter) dumping someone because they're 'too perfect'. I don't mean that they don't believe it - too good to be true. Rather that most of us carry around baggage of some sort and it can be very hard to step away from all of that and see ourselves objectively.
I think it's the case for many of us (okay, maybe just me then) that we're still that odd child - the one who read too much, talked too much, grew too much, or did whatever it was that made us feel our 'otherness' away from the pack. We don't leave that behind entirely so when someone who is, in our eyes, firmly in Accepted Society - or whatever group it is we seek to either join or have acceptance from - we are naturally suspicious or downright scared.
Surely I can't be the only one who almost constantly thinks, 'I'll be found out' - not so much with relationships but particularly with jobs - 'They'll realise I'm a fraud!'

Personally I can't even say that I admire the person who is perfectly secure in their abilities - 'Yes, of course they love me/want to employ me' because I'm waiting for the fall...the one that comes after pride.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 26 May 2008, 23:17, closed)

I suppose I should qualify that bit.
The phrasing was not mine, it was hers. Me, I see myself as very far from perfect- I have tons of faults. I just couldn't get her to see that I have flaws just as she does, I guess.

Sorry- I didn't mean to sound conceited there. Perfect is the last word I would choose to describe myself in any capacity. That's why it came as such a stunning blow when she said that to me. And that is also why I see it as utterly hilarious now.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 27 May 2008, 2:02, closed)

@ TRL
You don't sound conceited, not in the least - remember I have met you and *know* you're not conceited. I simply think the problem was all her end - how she saw herself and in terms of her world, how she saw you.
I think sometimes it's easy to think that the grass is always greener and people from different backgrounds are either better or worse off than us...when in reality it's just different. I wonder if she sees that now or if she's with a man who she doesn't perceive as 'perfect'.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 27 May 2008, 16:54, closed)