Crime School
My friend's Dad worked at the local Young Offenders' Institution teaching woodwork to the scrotes, and one evening he was asked if he could help the visiting Barber get into his car, as he had accidentally locked his keys in the boot. Now my friend's Dad is no expert on car security, but he's got a room full of them right there.
So he asks his class if there's anyone who can possibly help them get into the car. It's not like it's a Screw's car, surely someone will do the right thing and use their nefarious knowledge to help out an ordinary bloke who's having a bad day?

No problem, the current Prince of TWOC is in residence and he steps up to the plate. Rules are bent and a party of Prison Officers, auxilliary staff and tutors accompany the scrote volunteer to the car park. He's in his element, centre of attention.

"Hmmm, brand new Audi, nice. Oh sweet,it's got all the toys on it too, top motor you got there Boss, very stealable, you wanna look after it. You've really dropped a bollock, shutting your key inside haven't you?"

The owner of the car shuffles uncomfortably and looks sheepish, "I've only had it a day, I didn't realise it would self-lock..."

With bated breath, they watch the youth stalk round the car, rubbing his chin as he pondered the security features.
"Well?" someone ventured "Can you get in to it?"
The Prince of TWOC turns to them, grins and says "Of course I fucking can!", before quick as lightning grabbing a loose coping stone from the kerb and heaving it through the driver's window.

As he was frogmarched off, he was heard to squeal "What's the problem? That's always how I get into them."
(Rsoles, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:43, 4 replies)

That story was just as good
when the Herald diary printed it about Polmont Young Offender's Institution about twelve years ago.
(ubergeekian, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:45, closed)

Well,
right time, but wrong place. The miserable old fart has obviously lied to me, and I was only round there last week having an In Memorium drink for his son. Bastard, I'll go round this evening and carry out a Dirty Protest, that'll learn him. He won't survive the coming cold snap, I promise, and I hope that goes some way to compensate you for your inconvenience.

Carry on.
(Rsoles, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 19:22, closed)

I like this almost as much as the original post :)

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 19:36, closed)

As long as
you smash one of his car windows too, for old time's sake.
(ubergeekian, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 12:44, closed)