The Warhammer nerd.
Back when I was at school there were two Scottish kids by the name of David and James McKinnon, who due to their mismatched sizes and general Scottishness were nicknamed Wee Mac and Big Jock respectively.
Mac was in my year, and was a pretty good friend of mine, while Jock was 2 years older, and a good 12 inches taller.
I wasn't much of a fan of Jock; he could needlessly rag on his little brother sometimes, and it upset me to see Mac in floods of incoherent Scottish tears over his older sibling's latest slight. I guess, looking back, that he was really no different to any older brother ever, but being an only child I'd never experienced inter-sibling rivalry until now.
Mac was a fan of Warhammer figurines. He didn't play the game, since we were only 14 and knew no-one else who could play with us, but he still collected them whenever his pocket money allowed, and he'd perfected his painting skills to the point where they actually looked pretty damn good.
It was inevitable that, sooner or later, they'd be a target for his brother.
Mac called me, in floods of Scottish tears again, saying that his latest project had gone missing. He had recently bought an Ork king; a big guy with a flag and a ceremonial sword and blah blah blah. He'd nearly finished painting it when he'd come home to find it gone.
Jock was the obvious culprit, so (incredibly now I come to think about it) I confronted him. I pointed out that bullying was all well and good, but these things cost a lot of money, and Mac had already poured about 15 hours into painting it.
Jock pretty much laughed in my face, but still told me where it was; in the wood behind his house. He and a friend had taken it and an air-rifle and gone for a spot of target practice.
Rather than telling Mac that his brother was a complete dick, I figured I'd go get it myself and return it. It was already getting dark, and I didn't relish the thought of walking through the woods at night, so I sprinted there.
Or, to put it another way, I ran to Mac's Ork highness.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 9:57, 12 replies)

And this is why you were put up for adoption.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 10:02, closed)

were
should have been
Oh well, there's still time.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 10:05, closed)

Your "mummy" just hasn't told you yet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 10:10, closed)

I can assure you, no-one would have adopted a little shit like me.
Not unless it was some kind of twisted community service.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 11:25, closed)

Does this look familiar ... ?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 12:13, closed)

Well played sir.
You utter bastard.
(Eukanuba, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 11:27, closed)

D+
Must try harder
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 11:30, closed)

Orc

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 11:40, closed)

Yeah, I thought that.
Apparently not in Warhammer. They're special.
Edit: Orc in Warhammer, Ork in Warhammer 40,000. This bothers me.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 11:55, closed)

It's because
Ks are futuristic and cool, but Cs are curly and a bit soft. SpiKy Space Soldier vs. MinCing Medieval Minstrel.

Either that or it's some post-modern commentary on the decline of the written language.
(Eukanuba, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 12:41, closed)

Ack
Well done.
( MatJ LOOK, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 16:54, closed)

Utterly wonderful
Have a click, go on, you've earned it.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:27, closed)