The wonderful Mr Oliver
I may have mentioned this fellow before, but I think he deserves another outing.

Mr Oliver is a lovely, polite man. In his late 80's/early 90's, he still walks around town and once a fortnight comes into my pub for lunch.

Every time he is politeness personified. Amazed by my ability to remember what he drinks (pineapple juice with no ice) and always with a kind word. He leaves his 50p tip carefully under his plate and without fail compliments the cook.

One day a few years back I got into a bout of fisticuffs (basically asking a 6'6'' bloke to leave after he had been caught taking drugs) It was all a bit one sided and I ended up looking like this with a shattered wrist)



A few days later a hand delivered card arrived through the door from Oliver. In shaky but clearly carefully composed script was a little card stating how sorry Oliver was that such a horrible thing had happened. Also inside was a £10 note with instructions to spend it to cheer myself up.

This little act of kindness brought a tear to my eye and went some way to restore faith in the human race.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:10, 12 replies)

You lost faith in the entire human race
because somebody beat you up?

A click for Mr Oliver's kind actions though. I trust you spent that tenner on some lovely delicious drugs?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:24, closed)

Well done Mr Oliver

( Pig Bodine., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:25, closed)

I like to think that one day I'll be a Mr Oliver type character.
In truth I'll probably be a bitter old bastard who shouts (or shoots) at kids and writes to the local paper about the feckless youth of the town.

There's a farm not far from here that has a wonderful hand painted sign on the fence.

"Does not play well with others"
"Stand still, I'm reloading".


Also, ouch! Good old Mr Oliver though.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:33, closed)

"Impulse control issues.
Walk away quickly.
Do not run.
Do not make eye contact."
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:56, closed)

your photo makes you look like you were born in a lab

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:38, closed)

One word
GENTLEMAN.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:55, closed)

thats two words

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 16:20, closed)

Actually
It's three.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 19:00, closed)

If you're French.

( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 16:22, closed)

Two words.
Predatory homosexual.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 16:13, closed)

Is there any other sort?
*racists*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 17:04, closed)

They're like bears you know,
with two types of attack method.
Defensive; in which you must remain calm, curl up in a ball, clasp your hands on the back of your neck and wait for them to ascertain that you are not a threat.
The second type is predatory. When this happens you must fight back and make yourself appear big. Perhaps pepper spray them in the face.

I've been throw out of a few gay clubs.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 17:23, closed)