Genuine Nutter
The last girlfriend before Mrs. Booce tried to stake me through the heart with a kitchen knife, whilst under the delusion that I was a vampire. She was a schizophrenic, which still doesn't explain why I didn't leave then.

That was one of those surreal moments that, despite being instensly stressful, is somehow still funny even as it's happening to you.

She later went on to spray antifreeze in my face, at which point the self preservation kicked in and I got the hell out.

Good times.
(Booce, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:25, 7 replies)

why did she think you were a vampire?
were you glowing and sparkly?
in future, lay off the ready brek.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 17:26, closed)

Mental
I think she thought I was a vampire cos she was fucking mental. It's not like I was wearing the cape and the rubber teeth that time :-)
(Booce, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:58, closed)

heheheh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:16, closed)

Crazy lady!
Everyone knows it's meant to be a wooden stake!
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 17:27, closed)

anything through the heart works

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 18:26, closed)

Easier ways
Her logic was fundamentally flawed for some inexplicable reason, as this occurred during the daytime!
(Booce, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 14:01, closed)

Stabbed through the heart!
and you're to blame
You give mental illness
a bad name.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 20:40, closed)