I pity the person who does have a romantic relationship with this one.
Over the past five years, I've come to the conclusion that a formerly close friend, despite her few positive attributes, is overall a manipulative, immature, gullible, self-focused waste of time. Why haven't I told her to fuck off yet? Because she works with my husband, and I don't want her making trouble for him. She turns even the mildest critique into a full-fledged war and would take gold in Olympic grudge-carrying. I think the breaking point came this past spring, when she spent an entire evening sulking because I wouldn't take a break from the dinner party I was hosting to read a paper she wrote (that, it transpired, she never actually emailed to me in the first place) -- as though I had nothing else to do at the time!

Everything wrong in her life is someone else's fault. She failed her exams because another co-worker didn't cover a day off for her to study -- not because she always waited until the last minute to do any work. Her flatmate doesn't get on with her because she's jealous that (friend) got the bigger room -- not because she's a slob who won't do her share of the housework. She's tired and run down because of a whole slew of invented health issues -- not because she thinks a can of Diet Coke and a bag of candy constitute a full meal.

When something goes wrong, she finds someone to blame so that she can create a reason for being unhappy that doesn't involve her own choices and actions. It's much easier to do that than to take any kind of responsibility, you see! After all, it isn't like she's a grown woman, what with nearly being 30. If she's had a bad day, the next thing you know she'll suddenly be giving you the silent treatment because it is All Your Fault. Why? Because you said that day's Magic Word! Something, anything, that she could perceive as being a slight against her. She once refused to speak to a co-worker for two weeks because she thought the girl had been trying to insult her by saying she didn't believe in homeopathy.

Then there's the New Age crap. 'Cleanses', crystal healing, homeopathy, being a 'medium'. . .the list goes on. Her newest thing is this snake-oil service where some quack holds a food item near you, and if you move then it means your body is somehow recognizing the food as 'bad', and that means you're 'allergic' to it. So now she's 'allergic' to everything from peanuts to wheat to soy sauce despite having no problems to date. She's always looking for signs that she's suffering from the latest trendy difficult-to-define syndrome. Far easier to invent health issues than to admit you eat crap foods and never get enough sleep! That would require taking responsibility. Don't believe in that stuff? Your opinion is a personal attack on her, and you will be punished for it by passive-aggressive behaviour until you apologise repeatedly for hurting her feelings -- not that she'll tell you an apology is expected. You're just supposed to know she's offended and act accordingly.

She takes so much more than she gives, and I am so sick of listening to her complain about how she isn't to blame for every little imperfect thing in her life, all of which being perfectly within her power to control to her satisfaction. I'm sick of having to pretend that this shell of a friendship means anything to me. I'm especially sick of having to make nice and treat her with kid gloves because otherwise, she'll freak out and make the workday hard for my husband, but the sliver lining is that she's thinking of quitting (people refusing to cover her shifts is making it impossible for her to do schoolwork, you see). Oh, please, please, please!

Ah. . .thank you, B3ta. That feels better.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 18:35, 4 replies)

and
the positives? :S
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 19:13, closed)

She used to be grand
But over the years, the nastier aspects of her personality have won out. Aside from that, she took excellent care of our cats while we were away on holiday, twice. Surely caring for the fluffiest earns one points!
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 1:02, closed)

Sounds
like my current flatmate.
Despised by the 5 of us who live here because when she does actually do something we're all expected to make a big fuss and be eternally greatful that she's
washed a dish or put the lid on the milk otherwise we're all terrible horrible people who don't respect her and she'll sulk all day.
(FootOfTim, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 20:17, closed)

If there weren't five of you
I'd wonder if it was her! That's exactly like her.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 1:09, closed)

watch out
that's the kind of cunt who, when she leaves her job, would go to the boss and tell all kinds of bullshit lies about anyone who has annoyed her, intentionally or not, just to get them in shit and possibly fired before she goes. i know someone very like this, she'd see absolutely nothing nasty or spiteful in doing this, as she'd believe utterly that anyone she doesn't like deserves to lose their job.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 20:31, closed)

Her reputation preceded her with their current boss
And most of it's documented via write-ups from the previous boss (who was an absolute harpy, it must be admitted, but not always in the wrong),fortunately.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 1:08, closed)

that's one good thing, at least

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:34, closed)