The break up orgasm
At 18 years old, I had moved out of home and had my first boyfriend. Three months in and I thought things were going fine. One summery, late afternoon we are having (what I thought was) a great shag.

Chris Brown - stroke in - "Um, I really enjoy this with you"
Me - stroke out - "Yeah, baby, loving it"
Chris Brown - stroke in - "I need to tell you something"
Me - stroke out - "AAAAH, bout to 'splode"
Chris Brown - stroke in, stroke out, stroke in - "I am definitely in love with my ex and can't do this anymore"
Me - with ankles around the neck and wrinkly eyebrows clashing badly with an O face - "???".

Chris Brown, the music died that day.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:58, 14 replies)

The secret to great comedy is timing.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:00, closed)

Yes.
Not shattered though. He had a terrible gold thingy on a necklace that he would always have between the teeth as it got in your face - down and dangly, down and dangly...
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:03, closed)

Ooh, I hate dangly necklaces.
They always poke you in the face if you're underneath. There are better things to be poked in the face by. Nipples, for e.g.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:32, closed)

ouch

( zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:05, closed)

Tell me we have all been there? Gonna hurt otherwise.

(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:08, closed)

of course we haven't. I for one have never failed at relationships because i am not good enough.
When people get my affection they love me forever the end *collects hearts*
( sleepybinky, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:30, closed)

Hero!
I bet you fart love hearts and unicorns. I want summa that.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:40, closed)

I clicked!
So many mental images!
"Me - with ankles around the neck and wrinkly eyebrows clashing badly with an O face - "???"." Had me in stiches- Thanks!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:12, closed)

You are a luv.
See, even you aren't that bad, judging by your own stories. Hope it makes you feel great!
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:14, closed)

"Even you aren't that bad"
Best compliment I've had in ages!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:03, closed)

I feel all woozy
It's been a while since I was able to compliment someone in a meaningful way. Anytime you need a pick-me-up, just drop me a line. Plenty more where that came from!
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:11, closed)

Much appreciated.
But I'm no pandatron- I warn you now!

*Woozes*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:22, closed)

fucking hell.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:36, closed)

Ha! Is that a pun or genuine sympathy?

(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:40, closed)